Projection?

[alwaysT_Time]

In your experience, did your pwBPD project a lot onto you? At times I felt it was nearly comical the amount of projection witnessed, with no understanding (on their part) that was happening.

Other people had commented on it privately to me, but never to them.

[once removed]

if projecting meant deflecting her pain on me, then yes. if projection meant "shes aiming this at me, but shes really describing herself" i cant remember a ton of that, except for her paranoia about me cheating.

[Creativum]

In your experience, did your pwBPD project a lot onto you? At times I felt it was nearly comical the amount of projection witnessed, with no understanding (on their part) that was happening.

Other people had commented on it privately to me, but never to them.

I think it would depend on what other things are going on with the person besides BPD.  My ex had body dysmorphia and OCD, for example, so he would always project his body image issues onto me.  It made no sense until I got a few steps back and re-assessed.  See, I had never had any real self-esteem issues or body image issues, and I constantly reassured him that there was nothing wrong with him and that I found him very attractive.  When he would be upset about something, he would *always* come at me with "Well you have had x injury and are therefore unable to do physical activity Y" which made no sense because I had no problems doing *anything* ... .So any time he was feeling bad about something inside of himself, he would find a way to make it about me. 

Short answer to your question?  Yes'ish.  You really just need to consider the comorbidities.

[Cane787]

Mine, very much so. I don't believe every single time was intentional or methodical, but I don't think people with this disorder are very aware of their ability to abuse anyhow. Hence, the shame later down the road. (and due to the fact THEY are missing out on supply, I'm learning from reading and 30 year experience.)

Anyway, my pwBPD was extremely passive aggressive and revengeful, so she would tell me something someone supposedly said about me, to anger me and triangulate us, but it was more than obvious the commentary was one she feared of herself. This happened many times over in the very long relationship I allowed myself to be involved in. I think she believed I deserved it, for whatever reason she conjured up from fear of engulfment, abandonment, rejection, but then she would spin around from a break and thoroughly enjoy me. Then the cycle would repeat. The competition that I never wanted to take part in was relentless on her part.

Somewhere inside her is a person that isn't mirrored and of her own that I could love to the end of time, but her sickness wins every time. So I've finally woke up to fight back the repeated returning.

[SummerStorm]

I got so much projection. 

Once, she told me that I read fantasy literature and watch fantasy shows because the real world is too painful and I want to escape it.  This was a few days after she read my tweets and saw how often I talk about the show Lost Girl.  First of all, I like that show because all of the actors and actresses on it are smoking hot, and I only tweeted about it during the season, not when it wasn't on.  Secondly, she recently told me that she has two main interests in life: Pokemon and napping.  She's a 23 year old college graduate, and last Friday, she went to McDonald's and got a Happy Meal just so she could get a Pokemon toy.  Everything in her life is Pokemon.  Occasionally, she takes a side trip to Doctor Who and Game of Thrones.  Her favorite book of all time is Alice in Wonderland.  So, who is really the one living in fantasy land?

Her ex-boyfriend was accused of cheating several times (she cheated on him). 

[JSF13]

My Best Friend always told me my ex was projecting on me. I however was so wrapped up in the web I believed I was the issue. She hated him because he wouldn't buy her BS. Let me add that EVERYONE likes him. Never met a soul who doesn't. Constantly accused of lying, cheating and everything else under the sun. It has been 8 weeks since we have split and I am just now starting to realize that I was not the problem

[C.Stein]

My ex did project onto me at times.  I can say she is almost certainly doing some serious projecting onto me now post discard.  I believe I have become the scapegoat for all her misdeeds and hurtful behavior.

[JSF13]

My ex did project onto me at times.  I can say she is almost certainly doing some serious projecting onto me now post discard.  I believe I have become the scapegoat for all her misdeeds and hurtful behavior.

I was told by her and her father that I was the cause of this and need to accept that I caused this and go away. I haven't reached out to her not once but she sure has tried to contact me.