No, you're not crazy and it's not you

[WhatJustHappened?]

I have read so many posts where the NON starts to think they are the crazy ones or are at fault for the craziness that comes with being in a relationship with a person with a PD. Nope!

I just started dating a sane woman and was instantly reminded that the relationship I was in with my ex with BPD was far from normal.

In my new relationship, there is no self-made drama, mood swings, huge red flags, lying, walking on eggshells, etc. I too had questioned my responsibility in my failed relationship with my exBPDgf, mainly because my ex was very good at twisting the facts and laying the blame on me.

... .and our "in the bedroom" life is fantastic. You do not need a person with a PD to have an "out of this world" sex. I know many have expressed the opinion that good sex is only available with their ex with a PD. Nope! The only difference here is that I'm not getting odd and strange audio messages that made me cringe (that's a long story).

Remember, people with PDs are very skilled at making you the villain. Often times, nothing you have done or could do would change their behavior. When you date a somewhat sane person again, you will instantly see the light.

[butterfly15]

I have read so many posts where the NON starts to think they are the crazy ones or are at fault for the craziness that comes with being in a relationship with a person with a PD. Nope!

I just started dating a sane woman and was instantly reminded that the relationship I was in with my ex with BPD was far from normal.

In my new relationship, there is no self-made drama, mood swings, huge red flags, lying, walking on eggshells, etc. I too had questioned my responsibility in my failed relationship with my exBPDgf, mainly because my ex was very good at twisting the facts and laying the blame on me.

Remember, people with PDs are very skilled at making you the villain. Often times, nothing you have done or could do would change their behavior. When you date a somewhat sane person again, you will instantly see the light.

  I have only gone on a few dates so far.  It was strange at first and now I'm like wow this is what it is like to be in a normal dating environment. It had been 2 years. I had forgotten.

[Pretty Woman]

I can concur here. It's very hard because you start to think, maybe it was you and then you realized you aren't triggering other people to behave in this way.

I am close to 7mo out with NC. I've dated two people.

Do I still think about the ex. Yes.  And I am working on that. However for four years I felt broken and almost A-Sexual. I can tell you this... .

I sure as He_ _ am not broken. I am actually enjoying that part of a relationship... .probably because I trust this person and know they won't hurt me like the ex.

No one deserves to be treated badly. Once you start to gain respect for yourself you will attract those that won't give you any less than respect. The respect you deserve. Always.


PW

[SandWitch]

Thank you! Was starting the healthy dating lessons now going back to the surviving BPD breakup lessons. Not crazy, just need to figure out why my empathy creates broken boundaries.Want to build a fence where i can see and safely get to know my neighbors - not a wall to block out everyone cause I have been hurt.