Best friend giving silent treatment

[Dawngirl]

It is hard for me to understand how someone can go from being a best friend and one who I talked to every day to totally cutting me off. It was so unwarranted. She has done this to me before in small ways. One time a couple of years ago she totally cut me off for several months. I have known her for five years. The first time she cut me off and then patched things up I thought "this won't happen again." Now that it has happened again I think it will be best to let this relationship go. I have grieved the loss and I miss her sometimes but I know I will be better off to let this relationship end. I just don't understand how she can be so cold.

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Dawngirl &

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this pain, and just want you to know that lots of the members of this Board know just how you feel... .I, actually, also had a close friend (actually my "best" friend at the time) just cut off communication and friendship overnight, out of the blue! I never found out (in all these 35 years later!) what precipitated the break, and I really was confused and hurt for a long while afterwards.

Have you had the chance to check out the links to the right-hand side of this page? Though your loved one isn't a family member, the information is still true for you, and very helpful in understanding how her mind works, and how you can heal yourself and attend to your own well-being. I'm glad you found us 

[Deb]

I had something like this happen to me. The person I thought was my BFF suddenly announced, in front of others, that she had had a dream that we were no longer to be friends. That was it. She changed her phone number and wouldn't speak to me. To make it worse, she did mean things that I hadn't experienced since I was in Jr High! Like inviting all of our mutual friends to a party, telling them she didn't know where I was and then telling me that she tried to call me.   Her new BFF participated in this, fueled no doubt by lies. A few years ago, I saw her at the post office and she was like she hadn't seen me in forever and I should stop by, gave me her phone number and email address. Which I lost. On purpose. Not going there again because the pain was too much. If I see her, I use MC on her. I am ever polite. But no, she had her one shot at hurting me. The new BFF got replaced too. And so did a few others.

[thefixermom]

I don't understand it either, why some people just can't talk through things.    My best friend did that to me a few years ago.  I had watched her do it to others but she and I had lasted more than 10 years so I thought I was in the clear.  But one day it happened. Boom.  She unfriended me in every possible way.  I moaned and groaned about it then moved on and started developing new friendships and was feeling pretty good again when she contacted me and said she missed me and would I please reconnect.  I missed her, too, and did reconnect but I noticed that I didn't attach to her like I did before. I don't want her to hurt me like that again. She explained that with her bipolar she expects everyone to dump her and that she tries to dump them first if she gets a hint that something is off and that she doesn't look back.  The "hint" she got was when I wanted to talk with her about a miscommunication between us.  I had come to trust that we could be very open and communicative.  But she bolted instantly. I was in shock. And hurt. And rejected. And confused. And angry.  Now that we are friends again, and all is forgiven, I notice that she is pretty much the same she used to be but I am just a little more reserved on the inside. I think it comes with accepting her and believing that she might do it again. If so, it won't unseat me like it did before. I have maintained my other new friends and don't have all my eggs in one basket.  I love this person so I'm glad we are friends again. I'm also glad that I can let go easier if she bolts again.