Sister is as bad as mother, selfish and queenly

[nowitmakessense]

So, my 17 year old daughter had cancer this year, a 10cm tumor in her kidney, and had to undergo a radical nephrectomy.  It was devastating.  My 16 year old son has high functioning autism, and I desperately needed someone to care for him so I could get my daughter through the surgery and help her recover. We live far from the city, I couldn't leave him home alone, he couldn't stay at a hotel all by himself, and the sounds, lights, germs and chaos of the hospital would have been unbearable for him.  And I had no choice but to be there 100% for my daughter.

I have literally never asked my sister for anything. I asked her to take my son so I could deal with my daughter. I paid for his flights, sent him with $1000 in case of emergency and to help pay for his food and needs. My sister spent all the money in the first two days, and then sent him back after 9 days.  It was unreal! My little girl could barely get out of bed, but it was too much for my sister to let my son stay with her. I asked her to send me receipts for what she spent the money on, it was outrageous -- beer, cigarettes, the very best cuts of meat, a 400 dollar grocery order, cosmetics.

She has not spoken a word to me since it happened, 9 months ago.

The most unbelievable part of it is she used my son as an excuse to get out of all of her year end duties at work! Told her bosses that she had to care for her nephew for the summer because of a family emergency, so she was released from all of the meetings and conferences.

She has no children, and a beautiful huge house. I don't even know what to say to her, I'm kind of glad we are not talking.  However, I know it is not because she feels guilty in any way.  Somehow she is mad at me, whatever. My family really is messed up.

[Turkish]

I don't even know what to make of that. Sending him back due to her inability to deal is one thing, possibly understandable, but also blowing over $100/ day on what sounds like just her is a whole other level of unreal. A decent aunt would have turned down, or returned the money. Sadly, at least you know more who she really is. Empathy. Guilt.

I hope your children are doing better, especially D17.

[nowitmakessense]

Turkish, you are so kind. I apologize for that post really, was feeling very hurt by the whole ordeal and just let it out, which is healthy in some way I guess, but my major goal of being here is to heal. Ranting about all of the ridiculous things that have happened sometimes feels good, but I need to let them go and work on myself, and learn how to use the tools so that the crazy episodes don't happen. Distance is a good thing when it comes to me and the people who do these things.  Thank you for validating the outrageousness of it though, I still can't believe it!

My daughter is doing ok, she is such a wonderful kid, and very strong. I worry about her a lot, but we take one day at a time.

Take care of yourself Turkush and thanks for helping 

[Turkish]

Personally, I'd have used stronger language (if the software filters wouldn't block it). 

I'm happy that your daughter is doing well...

Let me know if you make any progress with your sister, and how D17 is doing, too.

T