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I need help tonight. He is with someone else
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Topic: I need help tonight. He is with someone else (Read 450 times)
Lovingme35
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 115
I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
on:
December 30, 2015, 12:13:20 AM »
Things were getting so much better between us. We were planning what to do for New Years. I had his drivers license and was going to drop it off with him and saw him outside his complex with another girl and her dog so I kept driving. He saw me. He texted saying he hadn't planned anything yet. An hour later I tried to call, he answered playfully and said he would call me right back and then hung up. An hour went by. I texted is everything ok. It's been 30 minutes with no response. I am so upset. I want to think that everything's ok, but I know it's not. He's probably having sex with her as I write this. I am so stupid. Why can't I stop myself from opening this door to him. What feels the worst is that he is placing her in front of me. He can't even respond. If I get mad, I won't hear from him for a month.
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Lovingme35
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 115
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #1 on:
December 30, 2015, 12:18:13 AM »
I want to go over to his house so bad. I know it's a bad idea. Maybe I should confront him once and for all. Anyone else would
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guy4caligirl
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 692
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #2 on:
December 30, 2015, 12:32:30 AM »
Hi I think you should keep your calm and not think the worth of it , it could be a neighbor or anything else , you never know, texting sucks sometimes and you are okay to think either way , I am sure he will text you back with a decent reason I hope !
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lovenature
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #3 on:
December 30, 2015, 01:02:06 AM »
You are likely being triangulated with this other woman; you can't say for sure but knowing what you do about BPD and your gut instinct surely can guide you.
Regardless, why do you want to keep going through what you are?
Without years of therapy a BPD relationship is doomed to failure; the more one accepts and loves their pwBPD, the more they get pushed away. :'(
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Skip
Site Director
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 8817
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #4 on:
December 30, 2015, 07:32:32 AM »
Quote from: lovenature on December 30, 2015, 01:02:06 AM
You are likely being triangulated with this other woman; you can't say for sure but knowing what you do about BPD and your gut instinct surely can guide you.
It's a leap to go from talking to someone walking a dog to have sex with them - we see members make that mental leap and then comeback with egg on their face. It's torture - and then its humiliating.
You can't know.
Stay cool. Don't confront. Keep your eyes open, but your spirit positive. Let this play out a bit more. See what develops.
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Lovingme35
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 115
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #5 on:
December 30, 2015, 03:52:04 PM »
I don't have any better news today. He wrote back after I posted this saying, "sorry was on the other line with property manager." Today we talked and he said he was actually waiting for his property manager to call. (More bs)
He just stopped off at my work and picked up his ID while I was having lunch. Totally disconnected, wouldn't even look at me. I didn't even try to talk to him at that point. Then he took off.
Looking like my New Year is going to be by myself
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kc sunshine
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 1065
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #6 on:
December 30, 2015, 04:16:58 PM »
Oh I'm so sorry. Being replaced is THE WORST. I thought her painting me black and breaking up with me (saying things like I ruined her life) was the worst, but being replaced is so much worse because they just go distant (if that is what is happening-- I agree with Skip, it's hard to know though). Anyway, we're right here. Keep writing us.
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patientandclear
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Relationship status: single
Posts: 2785
Re: I need help tonight. He is with someone else
«
Reply #7 on:
December 30, 2015, 07:18:46 PM »
The closeness with you was not stable and permanent and he is probably reacting to that in some fashion. By the same token, the withdrawn stance is probably also not stable and permanent. He changes--that is probably the constant.
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