Judge Gave BPDm Xmas Vaca Before NC, What Is He Thinking?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So in light of the no contact recommendation by court mediator,  both L and T said we must put this before judge in an ex parte. They were both very clear that unstable BPDm knowing that she was about to get four months no contact, and then only supervised would likely go off the rails and do something to damage SD7.

Even if she just in her BPDm dramatic fashion was the one to "break" the news to SD7, she is the last person any of us would want to tell SD of the circumstances. It went before judge yesterday.

Should BPDm have unsupervised xmas vacation for the next five days starting starting xmas  morning given the findings of this report that she should not just be supervised, but be no contact until she can be well enough to be in supervised.

The judge said sure, give her five days unsupervised before this goes into effect.

WTH? He has much more faith in her ability to hold it together than HER therapist, SD's therapist, our previous CE, and our most recent mediator/ family court investigator. The biggest threat she poses is her inability to keep psychologically damaging info from SD. So knowing she can now set this up in SD's head we just had to return SD to mom. What is this judge thinking?

If we even get SD back, she is going to be a wreck. Mom will have set her up for four months of hell and this will ensure SD will NOT get the respite that the mediator was trying to give her. The reset button will be damaged beyond repair.

This is unconscionable.

What appeared to b good news for SD getting some real treatment and help has just been undone by one judges decision, who is known for not even reading the requests.

Merry Christmas  :'(

[bravhart1]

So in light of the no contact recommendation by court mediator,  both L and T said we must put this before judge in an ex parte. They were both very clear that unstable BPDm knowing that she was about to get four months no contact, and then only supervised would likely go off the rails and do something to damage SD7.

Even if she just in her BPDm dramatic fashion was the one to "break" the news to SD7, she is the last person any of us would want to tell SD of the circumstances. It went before judge yesterday.

Should BPDm have unsupervised xmas vacation for the next five days starting starting xmas  morning given the findings of this report that she should not just be supervised, but be no contact until she can be well enough to be in supervised.

The judge said sure, give her five days unsupervised before this goes into effect.

WTH? He has much more faith in her ability to hold it together than HER therapist, SD's therapist, our previous CE, and our most recent mediator/ family court investigator. The biggest threat she poses is her inability to keep psychologically damaging info from SD. So knowing she can now set this up in SD's head we just had to return SD to mom. What is this judge thinking?

If we even get SD back, she is going to be a wreck. Mom will have set her up for four months of hell and this will ensure SD will NOT get the respite that the mediator was trying to give her. The reset button will be damaged beyond repair.

This is unconscionable.

What appeared to b good news for SD getting some real treatment and help has just been undone by one judges decision, who is known for not even reading the requests.

Merry Christmas  :'(

[Matt]

When did the judge give this ruling?

When are you supposed to hand SD7 over to her biological mom?

What specifically are you worried might happen if she spends time unsupervised with her mom?

Have you asked your lawyer, "What if Dad and I just decide that it's not in SD7's interest to spend unsupervised time with her mom, so we keep her over the holidays, and then talk with the judge again?"

Lawyers are always very biased toward complying with the court's orders - with good reason.  But it may be worth a conversation to ask what options you might have.