Wife abusing my son?

[Flexion]

Okay, I have posted on here several times. My uBPDw has been adjusting pretty well to the boundaries. Not that she respects them, but she understands I am not engaging.

Things were great over the holidays. My 24 yo son came to visit and we had a great time with my wife. My wife had a issue with his ex gf, due to them having a falling out( I personally think his gf was BPD as well... .not sure). Anyhow, she has beaten me up for 3 months about my son and his gf. I have expressed I cannot control people I might not agree with her, but she is with my son and I have to respect that.

Anyhow, Saturday I worked, as I do most Saturday mornings. As soon as I got off, she was waiting to hand me my son (2 1/2 yo) to watch while she spend the day fixing her hair. Now, she spent two entire days 2 weeks ago. So, all day Saturday and Saturday night.

I got up Sunday and took care of my son. She got up at 9, went to the hair care store and come back at 12. Went right back to work on her hair. However, she text me from the store and said "get L ready and we will go to the park around 3 0r 4. I was like "okay." When she got back, she said "get L ready and I wll put this in my hair real quick. I'm like" okay." I go do just that. L and I was playing in the room. He told me "no da da!" I said "yes dada!"  I was rocking him back and forth just playing.  I changed it to "no dada" and he started saying "yes dada! "we were just laughing and having fun.

At that moment, she starts saying that he doesn't want anything to do with her (he is partial to me) because I do this and do that! I tried to say that he tells me "no dada" as well. That he does things to hurt my feelings, but he's a baby.

I could tell she was getting worked up. So, as planned, I went in the room where she was and said "babe, we love you and want you to go outside with us like we'd planned!" SHe says " I don't want to be around either of you. just get away from me!"

Even though I was hurt that she would even remotely think that I done something to our son to make him feel that way towards her, I went outside and had a blast with my son.

When we come in, I told L to go in the bathroom and scare mom! He immediately runs off. I went to watch. He goes in and ROARS like a lion. she glares down at him and didn't say a word. It crushed me.

SO, she works all night on her hair. OF course I am completely taking care of my son while she is calling me selfish.

Yesterday, I got up thinking things would get better. NOT! Not the text messages begin. I mean she is going at me at every angle. Belittling and name calling. You name it! She text later that she needed something from Costco but didn't have her card. I told her I would go pick it up( although it was a burden for me). Not only did I do that for her, but I also went home and started putting up laundry she didn't do all weekend. she just b___es about it. I mean,  I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning. wait, let me get back here... .

Yesterday, when I got off at 7 and walked in the door, she is handing me my son to feed, bath and put in bed so she could work on her hair another night. Mind you I never said a word, but have supported her for 3 days, even with the abuse.

when she sat outside, she called my son over. I think just to play mind games. she asked him to give her a hug. I could tell he didn't do it the way she expected him to. So she kinda rolls her eyes towards me. I am CRUSHED at this point. So she says "give me a kiss!" he danced around full of energy like he does all the time(even me). She says "fine, I don't ever want a kiss from you again!" I immediately said " M, please do NOT do this to him! he is a baby! she immediately stopped and embraced him. I am surprised it turned out that way. I can't say anything to her!

Fast forward to today, she has blown my phone up with the worse things in the world. Again, I have not said a cross word to her. I supported her and told her that he is a baby and does the same to me. I tried to get her to go out, but she is attacking my character and ability to be her husband.

HEre's my thing.  I understand I cannot reason with her, although it's so tempting when the facts are so real. But, is this where it will start with me son? That will be my decision to get out!