Anyways! I'm divorced, free and clear with no further obligations to my ex and it feels really, REALLY good. Even better than I thought it would. For months friends and family had been telling how I would feel just soo relieved once the divorce was finalized and I'd smile, nod, and agree politely. All the while thinking to myself none of them knew the extent of the mayhem I went through and honestly didn't think I'd feel much. I can honestly say now though that things are much better on the other side of the fence.
I'm also glad that I took a long separation from my ex-uBPDw to work on myself and get to know who I am again. It gave me the time and space to work on being a better me and feeling out life without her while still knowing in the back of my mind that I could always reach out to her if I didn't want to go through with the divorce. Fortunately for me, time spent with family and friends and having a peaceful atmosphere to come home to every day only proved more and more that I was doing the right thing.
The longer I'm out of that relationship and keep my guard up against people who thrive on chaos, the happier I become. A lot has changed over the past few years. My financial means are very modest and I might have to file for bankruptcy later this year (due to my ex's spending during our marriage that fell on my shoulders) but this is the happiest I've been in over a decade and I have my family back. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Welcome back and thank you!
I am coming towards the end of the divorce process and you sharing your experience helps me.
I appreciate the increased peace and limited chaos and crazy making. He cannot live without chaos and crazy but at least it is minimized and buffered by my attorney.
It is good to know that despite changes (finances being a big one) it feels good on the other side.
I have found myself agreeing politely when family and friends tell me how relieved I will be once this is over and done. My mind cannot believe it until it experiences it.
I have been separated for 7 months and am just going with the process.
I am hoping divorce gives me the finality that I have been needing.
For you, enjoy your happiness and family ☺