I have just read the post on skin picking in BPD - my exHusband certainly plucked his hair out from around his face. However something that had a major impact on me was that about two years into our relationship, he started thumbsucking in front of me. With hindsight, I think that I just missed signs and that he was doing this in secret throughout. It was something that was very repulsive sexually in an adult male and he used to do this deliberately in front of me, and then immediately afterwards accuse me of not wanting to make love with him. By that time I was afraid of him and so tried to say that it wasn't a problem - trying not to make an issue out of anything - but it just became another issue he used as an excuse for a full-blown temper tantrum with wall-slamming and screaming at me.
I wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similar?
Ah yes! Not in front of me, but earlier in our relationship before things got really bad he told me that something he was embarrassed about is that he would suck his thumb when he was alone up until recently. There were a lot of little red flags before he told me that, but that was the first thing about him that really made my stomach turn.
