Deleted tons of pictures...

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I finally went through my pictures and deleted a ton of pictures of him off my computer. I sent him and his Mother some old ones. I know they don't have any and if I were him, I would want pictures from when I was in my 20's... .I only got a "thank you, hope you are well" from the Mom. Weird to look at them and remember what was happening... .most of them I remember he was being mean to me or we were fighting! I suppose it was good for me to remember all of that. I feel like you only need so many pictures of past people in your life that were no good. It's like having a ton of pictures of pets you had in your life... .you only need a coupe to remember them by and in this case, the animals were kinder to me! It's was sad to think of how long I was being treated poorly. It seemed to begin the first year we were together... .it was just a small crack, but I remember it after seeing the picture. Still haven't heard if he sent the lawyer any money for the divorce. He was trying to see me at a concert last Friday. He text me asking where I was... .the thing is, I doubt he was even there! Unless he was out with someone other than his GF... .I don't even believe him! I think he was just trying to get me to worry about seeing him  and to think about him to ruin my night! I know, I don't think much of him anymore, do I... .?  Kind of hard to when 90% of what he tells me is lies... .

[Herodias]

I finally went through my pictures and deleted a ton of pictures of him off my computer. I sent him and his Mother some old ones. I know they don't have any and if I were him, I would want pictures from when I was in my 20's... .I only got a "thank you, hope you are well" from the Mom. Weird to look at them and remember what was happening... .most of them I remember he was being mean to me or we were fighting! I suppose it was good for me to remember all of that. I feel like you only need so many pictures of past people in your life that were no good. It's like having a ton of pictures of pets you had in your life... .you only need a coupe to remember them by and in this case, the animals were kinder to me! It's was sad to think of how long I was being treated poorly. It seemed to begin the first year we were together... .it was just a small crack, but I remember it after seeing the picture. Still haven't heard if he sent the lawyer any money for the divorce. He was trying to see me at a concert last Friday. He text me asking where I was... .the thing is, I doubt he was even there! Unless he was out with someone other than his GF... .I don't even believe him! I think he was just trying to get me to worry about seeing him  and to think about him to ruin my night! I know, I don't think much of him anymore, do I... .?  Kind of hard to when 90% of what he tells me is lies... .

[Welgrow]

Good for you. My friends tried to get me to delete all of her pictures off my phone, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. However, my dad convinced me to tranfer all of her pictures off my phone onto a thumb drive so they were out of sight. Baby steps! At least it was a little progress. Maybe I'll get around to deleting them when I've healed up some more. Because right now I'm still in the phase of unexpectedly breaking down crying.

[Herodias]

I understand... .I put mine in a flash drive to get them off my phone- now I have been deleting them off of that. You are right, baby steps. I just started crying because I signed out of his Netflix account and don't have the password to sign back in... Sounds stupid but that was just another link to his life I am no longer in. After seeing how bad my relationship really was, I can't say I'm sad to be out of it... .I'm just sad to be alone. Sometimes it hits me that I don't have someone to love me other than my family and I feel alone. I miss having someone to be close to... .I just don't want it to be torture at the same time. I'll wait... .It gets hard to be patient for that right person to come along.

[Shale]

After seeing how bad my relationship really was, I can't say I'm sad to be out of it... .I'm just sad to be alone.

This. The thing I struggle with most is reconciling the person I spent years having at my side with the reality of the person I spent years having at my side. They were not the same person at all. One existed in my heart and hopes and mind, the other cut herself and threw plates at me when she was mad about something that happened before she met me.

To the topic though; yeah. I didn't even think about deleting pictures at first until facebook's Memory feature served me up something from near the beginning when things were still perfect. Broke my damn heart. I sat there crying on my phone's screen mumbling "well damn it, I didn't expect to see you today" then grit my teeth with resolve, put on some loud music that she always hated, took three shot of Jameson, and methodically deleted every single picture I have of her on any account or storage media I have.

I was never going to get ambushed like that again.