Focus on you challenge

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hey gang!

Anyone want to do a kick co-dependency, focus on you challenge? Here's what I'm thinking-- every day we do at least 5 things that are for us. Like today I:

1) went to yoga

2) worked out at the gym

3) worked on a paper that I am writing

4) had some chocolate

5) went to the dentist

What 5 good things did you do for yourself today? Maybe eventually we can get it up to 10.

[kc sunshine]

Hey gang!

Anyone want to do a kick co-dependency, focus on you challenge? Here's what I'm thinking-- every day we do at least 5 things that are for us. Like today I:

1) went to yoga

2) worked out at the gym

3) worked on a paper that I am writing

4) had some chocolate

5) went to the dentist

What 5 good things did you do for yourself today? Maybe eventually we can get it up to 10.

[Turkish]

#4. 

[Narkiss]

I'm in!

Today, I:

1. Had coffee with a friend I haven't seen for a while.

2. Finished a work project.

3. Ate ice cream with raspberry sauce.

4. Worked out.

5. Returned overdue library books

[kc sunshine]

Oh I love the returning overdue library books one!

Today I'm going to:

1) grade 10 papers

2) go to a talk

3) go to yoga

4) take a nap

5) go in the hot tub (if it is hot!)

[Narkiss]

Today, I:

1. Went to therapist.

2. Planned trip to Japan

3. Went to the paint store

4. Flirted with old friend (and kept my boundaries!)

5. Did not contact pwBPD

[kc sunshine]

That's so great Narkiss!

I did most of mine, except only graded 5 papers instead of 10 and didn't get into the hot tub since it was so cold!

Today:

1)  Finish the rest of my papers

2) Celebrate my daughter's 13th birthday

3) Pack some sandwiches and fruit for my flights

4) Jump rope

5) get to bed by 9:30

[kc sunshine]

I did different things yesterday than I thought, but they were pretty good:

Took a nap on the plane

Finished a lot of papers

Read Codependent No More Workbook

got to bed by 10

Ate a good meal at the airport

Celebrated my daughter's birthday! My daughter (we live in different states, I commute to work) said "I knew you'd come." My son said "I can't believe you are here"

Today here's my plan:

Go on a walk by the water

Keep celebrating my daughter's bday

Wrestle with my son

Write a list of some of my goals (inspired by the Codependent No More workbook)

Actively try to laugh a lot

[Narkiss]

KC: the walk by the water sounds really nice. I'll try to do that also.

Yesterday:

I worked out.

Had dinner with an old friend.

Straightened up house

Snuggled with my children

Today I plan to:

Get coffee and walk by lake (thanks KC)

Go to my favorite used book store.

Buy baby gift for cousin

Go to a comedy club with a friend

Pick up books I had repaired

(And as a bonus: I will try to trust my gut all day)

[kc sunshine]

Way to go Narkiss!

Yesterday I went on a run by the water and picked flowers for my daughter's party ( ), wrote out a list of life-goals, prayed for god's grace in accepting whatever course my relationship with my BPD ex will take, laughed a lot, had fun at my daughter's party, and got to bed by 10, got some clarity in making a plan for next year

Today:

skateboard-walked with the dog (already did this)

finish grading more papers

maybe go paddle boarding with my friend if it is nice out... .

go check out if the flowers are blooming on campus and play in the trees with the kids

go to church

[krax]

Today I:

1. Went up early to take a long hot shower before work.

2. Went to the gym.

3. Refused to accept a work assignment from a coworker which was not my responsibility.

4. Refused to get back to get back together with my exBPDgf when she cornered my at work and started love-bombing me. (Didnt even know she was at work so was quite shocked)

5. Finished Codependent no more.

It was an alright day, even though im second-guessing my decision of leaving her. She really knows how to get to me. But it'll pass I hope... .

[once removed]

great thread kcsunshine 

1) went to church

2) got a workout playing the drums

3) wrote some music

4) cleaned my bedroom + a little

5) hung out with a friend

[steelwork]

1. Got up extra early and went and sat in the park.

2. Had a nice convo about dogs with a stranger.

3. Lovely walk in the sun to go get a bagel with cream cheese and lox and capers.

4. Spent a few hours writing.

5. Plan to go to bed early so I can see the sunrise tomorrow!

[Narkiss]

Did most of what I planned to yesterday, except walk by Lakefront (too windy).

Today I:

Started new book (which I bought yesterday at favorite used bookstore).

Took hot shower and thought of all the good things that has come out of blowing up my life

Had tea with a good friend

Went to cousin's baby shower.

Arranged for painters

Didn't call pwBPD, even though I came close

KC Sunshine: what do you teach?

[kc sunshine]

I did a lot of what I planned too :

Saw my friend

Climbed the watertower

Went to church and was moved by the service

replied in a BIFF way to my ex when she texted

had fun with the kids and totally appreciated them

Unfortunately at the end of the night, I watched a video of my ex's dance performance. That really threw me for a loop but I posted on the boards, asking for support, and people wrote such good and comforting and perspective-giving ways.

[Thread]

This is great and I have noticed since I focus more on me my Bpd H isn't as horrible as it was before! But he's also in DBT which is slowly helping! But I love this challenge!

1. took much needed and deserved me time

2. Accomplished an exorbent among of tasks this weekend

3. Made new connections with a new possible business relationship

4. raised a good amount of funds for a charity

5. Was kind to myself no negative self talk today

6. Had some normal sleeping hours!

7. Believed in myself

[blackbirdsong]

1. Finally started working on my side-project that I neglected when I was in a relationship

2. Meditated (like every day  )

3. Bought concert tickets for me and my friend

4. Went to the gym

5. Played chess after a long time

[kc sunshine]

today I want to:

Go for a skateboard walk by water if it stays sunny

Take the kids to the cherry trees to see if they blooming if it stays sunny (perhaps a picnic dinner underneath them?)

Call my friend

Pray

Turn in my expenses at work so I can get reimbursed

[Narkiss]

Today I:

1. Saw therapist

2. Met friend for coffee.

3. Plan to go to bed early

4. Cleaned house

5. Tried to cut myself some slack and forgive myself for backsliding (sent pwBPD an email, which he didn't respond to, so feel pretty stupid)

[hopealways]

Today I:

1. Went to the gym

2. Made some fish with a new marinade.

3. Meditated in my new meditation space I made last week.

4. Pet my dogs.

5. Made plans with friends.

[kc sunshine]

This is a great list Narkiss-- and don't worry about backsliding! Just pick yourself up and keep climbing   

Today I:

1. Saw therapist

2. Met friend for coffee.

3. Plan to go to bed early

4. Cleaned house

5. Tried to cut myself some slack and forgive myself for backsliding (sent pwBPD an email, which he didn't respond to, so feel pretty stupid)

[kc sunshine]

Enjoyed breakfast with my kids

Had dinner with friends and laughed a lot

Took an uber when the bus was taking to long to come-- enjoyed the warmth of the car

Nominated my paper for a prize (even though it is a long shot)

Enjoyed a cup of tea before going to bed

Will pray

[kc sunshine]

Today:

1) Write my paper (and share it with my friends)

2) Sit in the sunshine

3) Take 2 short meditation breaks

4) finish grading if I can

5) If I finish early, take a quick bike ride to the water!