I don't think any of us should blame ourselves for believing in and loving someone, giving our partners the benefit of the doubt. That is how love was meant to be. Don't let this experience change how you love or who you are. When you find the right person to love, it will be amazing. Stay who you are and just be more careful who you share it with and if they show they are unworthly of that kind of affection/intimacy - all you can do is leave. Stay while it's good, leave if it turns bad. That's really all we have control over.
I completely agree. I also believe everyone deserves a second chance and to not be judged for their past. People can change, even if the past many times is a good predictor of the future. As you get older this becomes more important, but then you could also argue the past becomes a better predictor of the future the older you get. Either way people should be "judged" for who they are
today and how they treat you
today.
After the destruction that occurs in a borderline relationship it is hard to hold onto the good aspects of oneself. Things that suffer the most I think are emotional availability, forgiveness and trust. We must be careful not to lose these good qualities within ourselves as a result of our respective borderline relationships.
