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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Ex-Spouse BPD?  (Read 530 times)
YoloDad
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: March 13, 2016, 01:32:05 PM »

My ex-spouse went from idealizing me to hating me and treating me less than human.  I read other traits of BPD and they seem to fit her as well.  We have 3 kids together and it is difficult to co-parent.  She even has engaged in parent alientation trying to turn my kids against me. 
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12180


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2016, 12:33:37 AM »

Hi Yolodad,

Welcome

How old are your kids, and what's the custody schedule like? We'd love to hear more and how best we can support you. What kind of alienation tactics are going on?

Turkish
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
unicorn2014
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2574



« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2016, 02:38:51 AM »

Welcome to BPD family  

It sounds like you have a rudimentary understanding of BPD, the next step would be to learn the role you can play in reducing the conflict. My question would be do you think you are allowing your ex wife in any way to victimize you? I'm not sure if you're familiar with the karpman drama triangle, but I think it might help you.
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