Exhausted after 2 years

[exhausted16]

I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 years and gf has been insecure and jealous throughout relationship... blowing up if I look at anyone or have any type of relationship /friendship with a female. She will be kind and nice and then turn on a dime accusing me, she's crossed my boundaries looking thru my email/text/facebook with out permission and then using against me later.  She was sexually abused by father and was sold into   child prostitution as a teenager.  She has night terrors and has never talked to anyone about it.  I have been faithful for 2 years and its never good enough. She broke up with me via text ...  yes she was broken up with me before... it like Dr. Jekyl Mr. Hyde and she's always the victim.  I hate you,come back.  I have never talked to any of her ex's but she became friends with mine, although I wasn't allowed to because of her insane jealousy. I came back from a trip with my older sister last summer and she freaked out and made me feel like ___ bc I didn't call her when we landed.  I admit I am codependent, father was a recovering alcoholic and I am in alanon.  She was an alcoholic sober for 10 years when we meet but decided to start drinking socially last summer.  I have talked to AA friend of hers who has know her for several years and realize that this has been a pattern.  After watching video and signs, I realize what I'm up against.  I could you some advice. thanks

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[JohnLove]

Hello exhausted16, I wish I had specific "advice" for you as I understand exactly what you mean in your post. I am still working (more like stumbling) through the lessons on this website. I feel they will deeply constitute toward any degree of "success" you may enjoy in the future with your BPDgf.

Now here is my warning to you. The factors you have outlined in your post are very sad and extremely serious. In real terms that may mean your girlfriend may not be capable of anything even approaching a healthy relationship with you... .or in fact any man.

From reading stories on this site for over 50 months it appears the vast majority of relationships with a pwBPD seem to have an "expiry" date of 2 years. Unfortunately this correlates DIRECTLY with my own experience with my BPDgf. We had a relationship that lasted almost 2 years. We went NC for almost 2 months. She became even more unstable and attempted suicide after handwriting apology letters to me and my children.

We reconnected after that event and I assisted her through her hospital stay. When she was released we reconnected. Can you guess how long our relationship lasted once we reunited?  :'(

There are no prizes for the correct answer.