Ex with BPD - when do we deem them dangerous after a break up?

[Ella421]

I've recently broken up with my ex who was diagnosed with BPD post break up. I was with him for a year and I'm now in the stages of getting manipulating messages that are making me feel guilty to have ended the relationship. I broke up with him because over the last 5 months  I was with him, I felt like he was only trying to secure a relationship with me because I am financially secure and mentally strong. After many attempts of trying to work it out with him, it was becoming worse and worse as he displayed anger and frustration by self harm. Towards the end of the relationship, I felt more like a parent than a partner and I had to end it to salvage of what was still left of me. I didn't feel like my old happy self and distanced myself from the activities I loved doing and from my family and friends. I felt that the strong and happy state that I once was, was being chipped away. Manipulated into thinking that if I did anything for myself, I was being selfish and abandoning him.

Now that its over, I get bombarded with manipulative messages and phone calls as he asks for me back even after I told him I don't want to get back together with him. I've asked for him to stop contacting me but I still get random messages that guilt trips me for walking away from the relationship. My friends and family are all supportive but he doesn't really have a support group to turn to.

I'm just wondering if there's anyone out there who have survived a break up with a BPD and if there is anything concerning I need to watch out for...  

[Turkish]

The manipulation is hard to deal with. A lot of us get it in various forms. Do you feel safe?

T.

[Ella421]

The manipulation is hard to deal with. A lot of us get it in various forms. Do you feel safe?

T.

Hi T,

It sometimes vary depending on his mood. When I respond to messages he stops the constant calling and messaging but when I don't respond, he calls the house phone and talks to my friends and family. He never physically hurt me but I have seen him do self harm which is what led me to break it off. I want to stop communicating with him and he will say he will stop contacting me but he keeps doing it.

[hope2727]

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