Question: Are discards and splitting black just another form of ST?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Emotional cut offs/discards, declarations of "Leave me alone!" Etc, splitting black... .are they just prolonged STs in disguise? Regardless, it's all abusive.

[sweet tooth]

Emotional cut offs/discards, declarations of "Leave me alone!" Etc, splitting black... .are they just prolonged STs in disguise? Regardless, it's all abusive.

[C.Stein]

Emotional cut offs/discards, declarations of "Leave me alone!" Etc, splitting black... .are they just prolonged STs in disguise? Regardless, it's all abusive.

No, I don't believe it is.  I think it is more about someone trying to regulate and/or avoid volatile emotions that are ripping them apart any way they possibly can.  For a pwBPD that can typically include "deleting" someone from their life like they never existed, painting them black, smear campaigns, or any other number of maladaptive coping mechanisms.  Yes it can be abusive, incredibly hurtful and at times cruel. 

Understanding why someone might do this helps to cope with the pain this type of behavior.   To that end, how can we help you understand what drives this type of behavior?

[sweet tooth]

Emotional cut offs/discards, declarations of "Leave me alone!" Etc, splitting black... .are they just prolonged STs in disguise? Regardless, it's all abusive.

No, I don't believe it is.  I think it is more about someone trying to regulate and/or avoid volatile emotions that are ripping them apart any way they possibly can.  For a pwBPD that can typically include "deleting" someone from their life like they never existed, painting them black, smear campaigns, or any other number of maladaptive coping mechanisms.  Yes it can be abusive, incredibly hurtful and at times cruel. 

Understanding why someone might do this helps to cope with the pain this type of behavior.   To that end, how can we help you understand what drives this type of behavior?

What DOES drive this type of behavior? This kind of behavior is beyond my scope. I don't understand what could possibly make someone behave this way. I wasn't raised to hurt other people.

[C.Stein]

What DOES drive this type of behavior?

This will help you understand a little better.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=136462.msg1331266#msg1331266

This kind of behavior is beyond my scope. I don't understand what could possibly make someone behave this way. I wasn't raised to hurt other people.

I don't think any of us were raised to hurt other people.  I know it feels personal, how can it not.  While I can understand somewhat the how and why my ex did the things she did it doesn't help much with the pain.  I had tears in my eyes constantly for over a month as a result of what my ex did to me.  Never before have I felt such deep and profound emotional pain in my life, and this was not the first time I have been badly hurt in a relationship.  It takes time to recover from this level of pain and we can't rush it, no matter how much we want to.