confession

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So... .I cracked. After 3 agonizing months of more or less nc and tons of unanswered emails I got the dreaded "I need you call" about some traumatic experience she had that only I could help with. I was at an all time low having just been out of town and the best man at my friends wedding. I was an absolute mess and she struck at classically the perfect time. Fast forward to today and I have spent basically the past 5 days with her. Sex non stop, drugs and basically ignoring everything and everyone in my life. During this time I discovered she went on a date with a guy who'd been around the whole time and has likely been talking to another guy. She has lost over 40 lbs in a bad way and looks very sick. She is moving home July 1st I hope for good but under the guise of going to rehab and getting her life together. She is saying over and over how sorry she is and she loves me ect. I am doing my best not to believe it and fall for the trap but I fear I basically already have. Not sure what if anything I.  Asking. I just can't tell anyone else as they would think I'm nuts and likely be very pissed off after supporting me every day for so long. Thoughts ?

[Venny]

So... .I cracked. After 3 agonizing months of more or less nc and tons of unanswered emails I got the dreaded "I need you call" about some traumatic experience she had that only I could help with. I was at an all time low having just been out of town and the best man at my friends wedding. I was an absolute mess and she struck at classically the perfect time. Fast forward to today and I have spent basically the past 5 days with her. Sex non stop, drugs and basically ignoring everything and everyone in my life. During this time I discovered she went on a date with a guy who'd been around the whole time and has likely been talking to another guy. She has lost over 40 lbs in a bad way and looks very sick. She is moving home July 1st I hope for good but under the guise of going to rehab and getting her life together. She is saying over and over how sorry she is and she loves me ect. I am doing my best not to believe it and fall for the trap but I fear I basically already have. Not sure what if anything I.  Asking. I just can't tell anyone else as they would think I'm nuts and likely be very pissed off after supporting me every day for so long. Thoughts ?

[steelwork]

Wow, that's heavy. My only thought is this: do you want to be done with her? If so, today is Day One.

Where did you leave things with her?

[steelwork]

Also: what will you do if she texts you with another crisis that only you can solve?

[fromheeltoheal]

I am doing my best not to believe it and fall for the trap but I fear I basically already have.

Well, if you're still susceptible to losing control with her, 5 days of nonstop sex and drugs isn't really a way to detach from that, but you know that Venny, and it goes back to what's the goal?  You mention that the 3 months of not communicating with her were "agonizing", so that's not something you're going to want to go back to, unless you see it as the only way to a brighter future.  So what is the goal?

[seenr]

Venny,

I think most people here know how you feel. I know the last time I got back with my ex, friends & family were all warning me, then accepting it, then waiting for it all to blow up again. It did, I had gently moved their thoughts and opinion to one side saying 'it will be fine'. It wasn't.

I don't know you, am not judging you and part of me is jealous as I'd love to have had 5 days with my ex. But like the others said, I'll just chime in & say 'are you happy today or confused/sad?' I know when I've got 'back' with my ex, I've been waiting for it all to explode, feeling like the happiest man in the world, yet still walking on eggshells.

I think, just be honest, be yourself. I do that and feel I am getting great support from other members here.

Take care of yourself.