Hey Indifferent-
Why are some exes here such reachers for supply from a long term ex, and then others don't even manage to do that?
Think attachments with borderlines; a borderline needs an attachment to feel whole, even to feel like they exist at all. You may pop up on her radar as a possible attachment, and if she were to contact you and you give her an indication that an emotional attachment is still in place, she would feel better. The reasons for not doing that could be shame, she feels so ashamed about whatever went down between you that thinking of you feels bad, so don't go there, or she's taken that shame and put it on you, so you're "bad", a handy way to off all the negative feelings about the relationship. Or, she's found another way to get her attachment needs met.
So how is your detachment going Indifferent? How much does it still matter what she's up to, and how can you use that?