where am I at in my recovery from BPDxw

[bus boy]

Over the past year I did a lot of processing, been through lots of pain. My T says my growth is quiet noticeable. I can see with great clarity that xw is a visious emotional abuser, I have, for the most part stopped blaming my self. When she gets abusive and I can process it a lot faster and better. I have little to no contact with her. As I've said in past posts xw was always an emotional abuser but in the last year since her new bf and I put up boundries she's gotten worse. Maybe I'm still angry, maybe I have totally detached, maybe it's just my personality, I don't know, it could be the stage of growth I'm in. I read posts that people are concerned about there x abuser. Me, I could really care less if ex gets help. She's a very high functioning emotional manuplating abuser. I care for s10, but I'm in his life more now so I feel I can help deflect her emotional treachery. Am I cold or narcisstic my self? I really couldn't give a sweet flying Jesus about her. It would suit me just fine if xw spent the rest of her life in mental pain and anguish. Do I need to look deeper at me or is it a stage I'm in on my way to greater growth and recovery.

[Rickybee]

I feel like that from time to time, wish her bad or think I don't care less if she suffers great mental pain for the rest of her life, but more often as time is going on i sometimes feel compassion, despite her emotional cruel abuse to me, I still feel sorry for her deep down from one human to another, she is poorly at the end of the day, for example if she killed herself it would crush me and haunt me, despite her actions having killed me emotionally, she didnt give a dam about me wanted to destroy me and ruin my life