Nonbiological father seeking custody

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Should I walk away and this be better for child. I thought joint custody would give him stability but if he's going to be used as a pawn and he gets hurt worse then I'm willing to let go. But if being there for him is best then I will stay the ciurse. I live him dearly. I honestly think u have better chance to let her have full control and me voluntarily giving her child support.  Mixed feelings about taking my name off birth certificate. Any suggestions?

[Foolsgold]

Should I walk away and this be better for child. I thought joint custody would give him stability but if he's going to be used as a pawn and he gets hurt worse then I'm willing to let go. But if being there for him is best then I will stay the ciurse. I live him dearly. I honestly think u have better chance to let her have full control and me voluntarily giving her child support.  Mixed feelings about taking my name off birth certificate. Any suggestions?

[ForeverDad]

A lot probably depends on your country or province.  For example, in the USA some states have laws where a non-biological father can be ordered to pay child support if he doesn't take action on parental status within a certain amount of time after finding out.

Will there be less conflict if you step out of the picture?  Perhaps.  But there's no way to be sure of that.  IF you're on the birth certificate than that puts you straddling different scenarios.  On the certificate, in that aspect you are considered the father, with possible exceptions such as noted above.  Not biological, in that aspect you are more like a stepfather without standing after a divorce.

Frankly, you need the help of an experienced local family law attorney.  Not all those you consult may be the ones for you to choose from.  It is totally okay to ask, "Mr. Lawyer, if you had this situation, who would you hire to ponder the complications, devise the best strategies and represent me?"  A good lawyer knows not every person walking in the door for a consultation will or should hire him/her.