Elle2011
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 4
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« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2016, 08:02:58 PM » |
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I have been trying to make sure my communication is not "defensive", when he is upset, I am trying to stay neutral, meaning I try to communicate I care, but will not be someone's emotional punching bag.
Sometimes he is depressed and other times he is in an angry mode. The last week has been somewhat better as I have been making sure he takes his anxiety/depression medications at different intervals through the day. He has no "good" relationships in his life. His father got tired of being one (of many) of his emotional punching bags and has severed contact. He has an ex girlfriend with a child (his) living across the country. She left in her 3rd month of pregnancy. He claims she used him to get pregnant, but I veer towards she feared for her own (and most importantly her child's) emotional needs.
He has no accountability for his actions. I have now realized his feelings for others do not exist. I was able to locate his fathers email address and got some background history. Here is an edited copy (I removed the hellos and well wishes to make this post not so long, as well as names).
EMAIL RESPONSE:
This is being written by my wife for me because I must can't deal with this situation anymore. She has had a front row seat since Joel was 6 or 7 years old. When she says I or me, she's means me, not her.
I could write a book. When things don't go exactly the way ___ thinks they should, he throws a tantrum as you saw and sometimes it escalates into what you referred to as an unbalanced mental state. He can't take no for an answer and becomes verbally abusive trying to wear me down. I've been on the receiving end of it for many, many years. I'm almost 70 years old, not in perfect health and will not subject myself to his abuse anymore. The last time this happened (maybe 9 months ago), he contacted me wanting money because he was being kicked out of ____ old apartment in which he was refusing to move out of after she left him. I said no. Then he wanted us to let him use our address on job applications. I said no. Then he wanted to come to Florida and live with us until he found a job. I said no. This was surrounded by dozens of emails, escalating in abrasiveness and abusiveness as you've seen, including physical threats. At that point, my wife & I knew that he could never know where we live. We are afraid of him. I don't know if it's a mental illness or dead brain cells from decades of heavy marijuana use, according to (former girlfriend). When I confronted him about the pot, he denied, then eventually told me he started using at age 19. Former Girlfriend said he smoked from morning to night and I believe her. She has told us many things about ____ behavior that were identical to what his old girlfriend, ____, told us after they broke up many years ago, so I'm inclined to believe her.
Former girlfriend had VERY good reason to leave him, for her own as well as the baby's sake. She is a good person and a very good mother, but wants nothing to do with ____ & doesn't want him to know where she is and if I were in her shoes, I would feel the same way.
As far as answers to your original questions, it's hard for me to answer because when we have had any relationship for the past 15 years or so, he's lied so much, I don't know what's true or not, so this is the best I can do... .
According to FORMER GIRLFRIENDS, he has gone to "counsellors" to get meds, but doesn't "talk" to them.
I don't know that he's ever been diagnosed with a specific mental disorder. He's self- diagnosed with several different things over the years. He's a bit of a hypochondriac.
I know he's used medications for anxiety. Former girlfriend told us he abused them, using double or triple the dosage. One time he told me he had a seizure... .turns out it was because he ran out of his medication and couldn't get a refill. Abrupt stoppage of certain meds for depression/anxiety can cause this. His story was that his psychiatrist died. Former girlfriend filled us in... .he went off on the doctor because he wouldn't give him a prescription for what he wanted. The dr. had to call the police and have him removed.
Marijuana abuse? absolutely
To respond to your last 2 points... . very narrow-minded... .paranoia, I don't know. He thinks he's the only person with a brain and thinks everyone else is a "stupid moron". Yes, he blames everyone else. It was George Bush, me, his mother, her family, his bosses, headhunters, then list goes on. He is his own worst enemy.
END of Email
I am at a point I am not sure what to do here. He does abuse his meds., He has a medical marijuana license, which I question. I am a supporter of medical marijuana for people that need it, but I really think he cannot deal with reality.
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