17 yr old just DX with BPD

[DanisMom]

New on here just looking for guidance and support.My 17 yr old adopted daughter was dx'ed with BPD and Depression.I always knew that something was different with her, since early childhood.Shes alway had a hard time making friends and keeping friends.Getting in trouble at school was frequent.A divorce ,moving to a new state and jr high school was horrible.She began cutting during this time also.Failing grades,having difficulties with others and teachers was a norm.High school saw her expelled,going court,anger management classes and an Alternative School.After continual problems I withdrew her and put her in home school for a short time.That didn't work out ... when her prior hs wouldn't take her back I signed her up for Adult School.There she excelled... was able to get her GED in 2 weeks... .she was so driven.A month later... she was in Psychiatric Hosp for a week due to reckless behavioral... .So here we are a week out of the Hosp... .stressed, overwhelmed and not knowing what's next.Sh does see a dr,a counselor and on Meds... when she takes them... .just need help

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[drained1996]

 
Welcome DanisMom, you've found the right place.  We understand you're having difficulty with your daughter.  To the right of this page you will see some tools and lessons you may find helpful in your journey with your daughter.  I also found it helpful to read the stories of others here, as it let me know I was not alone, and you also get some good insight on how to deal with things as you see others responses on threads. 
I also experienced that the more I shared here the more I got in return! 

What are you doing for your own health in this process?  Are you seeing a Therapist  (T)? 
We look forward to hearing more about your situation.   

[livednlearned]

Hi DanisMom,

I wanted to join drained1996 in welcoming you  

What are some of the big challenges you face with her (like, in day to day interactions)? There are so many different ways that BPD presents. Is your D the type to internalize, or is she more explosive?

Doing well and getting her GED, while it's a sign she can succeed, may also have scared her. I remember reading in the book Buddha and the Borderline how people with BPD can often feel afraid of doing well because then the attention on their needs might go away. So another crisis is needed, altho this may be done without conscious intent.

Learning to relate to someone with BPD is counter-intuitive. I've had to unlearn and relearn and learn new things, and they do make a difference. I feel that it's my job to work just as hard as I expect my loved one to work, and that is a lot!

We're here to walk with you and hear how you're holding up.

LnL