Just an update

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Last time I was posting on this forum I was struggling to save my relationship, which went on for nearly five years until 2015. Six months ago I distanced myself from her completely and I don't regret it at all. I feel emotionally relieved actually. I have a new girlfriend in my life and it's incredible to experience a healthy relationship. My ex initially sent me messages trying to guilt trip me for "leaving her", but I've ignored her emails, after telling her why I had to. I found out that she sent my mom a message Christmas eve, saying Happy Christmas. I don't know if that's manipulative behaviour or just being kind. I still struggle with my new girlfriend, I keep expecting her to guilt trip me, ignore me or generally verbally abuse me if I say something "bad", she doesn't, she communicates with me and I just can't believe it's possible. I still find myself automatically wanting to apologise for any misunderstanding. I don't know if I'll ever truly recover emotionally from this relationship. I think my mental state took a massive beating.

Anyways, I feel like updating, because my last post was probably hopeful and I don't want it to appear as though there's been another successful BPD relationship, because this one failed and it failed hard. Now I would never encourage anyone to pursue a relationship with a person with BPD. While they deserve love too I don't think it should be at anyone else's expense.

I hope you guys are still hanging in there, I feel like there's at the end of the tunnel.   
Happy Christmas everyone       

[starcrossed]

Last time I was posting on this forum I was struggling to save my relationship, which went on for nearly five years until 2015. Six months ago I distanced myself from her completely and I don't regret it at all. I feel emotionally relieved actually. I have a new girlfriend in my life and it's incredible to experience a healthy relationship. My ex initially sent me messages trying to guilt trip me for "leaving her", but I've ignored her emails, after telling her why I had to. I found out that she sent my mom a message Christmas eve, saying Happy Christmas. I don't know if that's manipulative behaviour or just being kind. I still struggle with my new girlfriend, I keep expecting her to guilt trip me, ignore me or generally verbally abuse me if I say something "bad", she doesn't, she communicates with me and I just can't believe it's possible. I still find myself automatically wanting to apologise for any misunderstanding. I don't know if I'll ever truly recover emotionally from this relationship. I think my mental state took a massive beating.

Anyways, I feel like updating, because my last post was probably hopeful and I don't want it to appear as though there's been another successful BPD relationship, because this one failed and it failed hard. Now I would never encourage anyone to pursue a relationship with a person with BPD. While they deserve love too I don't think it should be at anyone else's expense.

I hope you guys are still hanging in there, I feel like there's at the end of the tunnel.   
Happy Christmas everyone       

[yoyo1221]

My stbex wife also sent my mom a message.  I don't know if 'kind' is in their actual nature...

I understand what you're saying.  At the moment it's hard for me to fully express myself without feeling like someone will criticize or get angry with me.  Hard for me to turn that scanner off...