People just don't understand

[Gift to myself]

An old girlfriend called me after about 36 years.  When we met up at a restaurant and she caught me up on her life, then it was my turn... .  oh boy, as you can imagine her advise was "You have to leave him; you deserve so much better!"  I know she meant well, but she doesn't understand this complicated BPD thing... .

[fromheeltoheal]

You're right Gift, someone who is not a mental health professional educated in cluster B disorders or hasn't been in a relationship with a borderline doesn't understand; it is difficult to understand unless you've been educated or have been there.  And even though folks may mean well, talking about it with them can actually make things worse, because it can be unintentionally invalidating.  Good thing there's this site, we've all been there and we do understand.  So how's your detachment going?

[Gift to myself]

Hi HtH,
Yes, I Thank GOD for this site.  Before I forget, could you tell me how to donate when I would prefer to write a check and mail it, also I would want it to show on here that my username made the contribution.

Detachment?  Got pulled back in after 4 month silent treatment.  I gotta start back from square one.

[lovenature]

Welcome Gtm

You aren't starting from square one because you are learning while going forward; keep focusing on what is best for YOU and things will get better over time.

[fromheeltoheal]

Yes, I Thank GOD for this site.  Before I forget, could you tell me how to donate when I would prefer to write a check and mail it, also I would want it to show on here that my username made the contribution.

We'll send you information by private message, and yes, you'll be credited, and thank you.

Detachment?  Got pulled back in after 4 month silent treatment.  I gotta start back from square one.

Is it really square one or had you learned a thing or two that made it different?  And really, no one pulls unless we let them yes?

[Mutt]

"You have to leave him; you deserve so much better!"  I know she meant well, but she doesn't understand this complicated BPD thing... .

Let's set BPD aside for a second. It would have been nice to have someone to just listen. How's your support network in real life? Do you have someone that's non judgemental that's a good  listener? Are you seeing a T?