Partner

[Henryjay19]

I have just found out that my husband had been diagnosed with BPD back in 1984when his first marriage broke up.
I have been married to my husband for twenty six years and my life with him has been a roller coaster .I new there were problems with the way he was acting but just could not understand him .I always thought it was like having a child demanding attention all the time.Not even going up to use the toilet as I would here where are you ,when you coming down .Never making decisions,always being jeoulous ,accused of having affairs the list go on and on .
I have over the past few days looked online about this condition and now it makes sense .I only wish that my husband would have got help ,it was offered but he declined and left a hospital .I had major surgery in January on my lung and when I returned home he became violent with me .By this time I so needed a break away from him and he went into respite .At The home he cut his wrist and now has dementia .If only I was told about this I could have realised what the problem was .So pleased that I have found out after all these years.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Henryjay19:  

I'm sorry to hear about the problems you have had with your husband.  It can be helpful when you put the pieces of the puzzle together and get an answer for the root cause of the situation.

Am I correct in understanding that your husband is currently in a care facility, and not living with you?  I'm sorry to hear that you had surgery in January and came home to a violent husband.  Do you feel safe with your current living situation?

[lovenature]

Welcome Henryjay

Knowledge about the disorder, reading others experiences, and posting helps a lot by being able to make sense of the senseless.
The sad thing about BPD is that most don't get the help they need, usually only if they are very low functioning do they get help, and the fact is that if someone doesn't want help, they will never get it.