I believe my husband has BPD Trying to cope

[Pinkdress88]

Hi! I am pretty confident my husband has BPD. His mother was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver failure and has been given less than a year to live. This has intensified his BPD characteristics. I have set strict boundaries of no raging, name calling and working to pay 1/2 of the bills. He thinks and acts like I am the cause of his unhappiness because I have stopped being emotional about his issues and sticking to the boundaries. If I did not have 2 kids I would leave the marriage. Just  feeling overwhelmed and confused.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome PinkDress88:

I'm so sorry about the situation with your husband and for his mother's diagnosis.  BPD behaviors can be very confusing and I can understand that you are feeling overwhelmed.

Stressful events can bring on major BPD behaviors.  My undiagnosed BPD sister exhibited similar behaviors, when both our parents were hospitalized at the same time and passed within 6 months of each other.  Her behavior caused me to go to therapy, to try and figure things out.  That is when I learned that my sister is likely a high functioning BPD.

Good for you for setting boundaries and sticking to them.  There are several links to some basic communication tools and lessons.  Many of them can be helpful.  The one thing you have control over is the way you interact with and react to him.  It can ease tension, by using certain communication skills.

Check out a couple of the tools, give them a try and let us know about how it goes.