Coping with cheating...

[earlyL]

Does anyone have any advice on coping with cheating?

I recently found out my partner has been in a physical relationship with someone else and has emotional feelings for them, but wants us to stay together. I want us to work through this and I feel I am being patient and giving us both time and space, but I often have wobbles and feel extremely angry, I want to move on from this but I also know is probably a natural reaction, does anyone have any advice or experiences getting through it.

Thanks,

LW

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Oncebitten]

LW

So sorry to hear that you are going through this.  Cheating both physical and emotional is a tough thing to go through.  You said that your partner wants to stay together, but what do you want?  Once that question is answered then you can work on coping.  I would suggest you take some time and create some space and think through this with a clear mind.

[earlyL]

Thank you, I really appreciate your response. I have finally been able to have some space, we had a difficult Christmas together, not my choice as I felt we needed space, but perhaps in hindsight it was good to spend some time together. But it was hard. She is due back this weekend and although I feel clear in my head I want this to work, I also know I am hurting and will struggle to always be so clear, I probably need to just take some time out when I am feeling that way. It feels like a difficult balance of not wanting to push her away but also be clear what my boundaries are.

[Oncebitten]

LW

In this time you need to define your boundaries and what you are willing to accept.  And if she wants it to work and wants to remain together then she will respect that and allow you your space.  Just be clear with her that you are not abandoning her or put space between you two to punish her, but it is something that you need to do for you.