Welcome Woahwoahwoah: I'm sorry about the situation with your dad. My dad was a rager and chronic complainer. He never did anything physically threatening, but that mouth sure could sure get a workout . He had issues with anxiety and depression, although they weren't discussed until his later years (when he begrudgingly tried some meds). I've read, "Stop Walking on Egg Shells" and got a separate workbook. I don't think my dad had enough of the combined traits to qualify for a BPD diagnosis, but he was close.
My sister, however, is the one who caused me to seek therapy and buy the book, which led me here. She tests out as being a high-functioning BPD. My sister painted me black, when our parent's health began to fail and our parents died within 4 months of each other.
Dad was recently hospitalized for an emotional raging outburst, and missed Christmas. This has been his first hospitalization that I know of (in my lifetime).
Was he suicidal, or was he placed on a psychiatric hold, due to his behavior? Is he currently on any meds to manage his behavior or getting therapy?
I'm worried about communicating my BPD discovery with them.
It isn't usually advised for you to tell him he has BPD. You can't change him. The only thing you can do is to manage the way you interact with him and react to him. Boundaries are for your benefit and for you to enforce. Sometimes, a boundary might mean that you need to leave the room when your dad rages, or it can mean that if you are at his house, you leave and go home. Many times, a firm statement can be made before you leave (in a calm manner). i.e., "I can see you are having a bad day, we are leaving now and will see you another time."
There are links to is a lot of helpful information to the upper right of this post. The additional links below could, also, be helpful (click on the green words, or the green address):
It will be helpful for you to read about FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) and BOUNDARIES.
FOG BOUNDARIESThe additional links below, contain info. about validation. Validation doesn't mean that you agree with someone's position. You don't validate what is invalid, but you acknowledge someone's feelings. More importantly, you don't want to invalidate.
VALIDATION VALIDATION - DON'T INVALIDATEAVOID CIRCULAR ARGUMENTS Check out the information at the suggested links and let us know what you think. This can be a good place to discuss the specifics as you start to use some of the suggested skills.
