Taking steps

[JV]

My relationship (and marriage) of 7 years has dwindled to nothing.  My devaluation is at rock bottom and I do not see this ending. I am getting counselling and continue to read about BPD and of late have begun to ensure I love myself first and am kind to  myself to ensure I remain grounded and can put together an exit strategy.

My wife gets therapy and has been getting counselling for as long as I have known her and well before that too. I cannot be sure if they are formally recognizing the BPD traits.

I am half way through reading the Essential Family Guide to BPD. Great read ! Insightful.

Besides my counselor, I have made a close family member aware, a workmate and a friend.

Does this ever end for my wife ? Are there success stories from therapy for her ?  She is a high functioning BPD - would her counsellor see this  Borderline trait ?

I have moved from staying with the relationship to thinking about leaving the relationship. I require some coaching for "next steps"

[Larmoyant]

Hi JV, I’d like to welcome you to BPD Family  .

It sounds as if you have a good plan in place, counselling, reading and most importantly recognising that love and compassion for yourself is very important. Experiencing devaluation on a regular basis is extremely harmful and it’s all too easy to internalise the negative.

. Does this ever end for my wife ? Are there success stories from therapy for her ?  She is a high functioning BPD - would her counsellor see this  Borderline trait ?

.

I understand that some people with BPD can successfully learn to cope with the symptoms of the disorder, but there is no cure. It requires commitment, hard work and lengthy treatment over several years. The first step is insight and recognising the problem. You mention your wife gets therapy. Does she say what for? Why does she go? Apart from devaluation what other BPD traits does she display?

.I have moved from staying with the relationship to thinking about leaving the relationship. I require some coaching for "next steps".

.

You've come to the right place and we can help you. Keep reading and posting. When you get time I’d recommend you read the information over on the right ->. It will help guide you as you make the decision that is right for you. It's a painful process, but you'll get there. We're with you.