Vacation

[dtkm]

My uBPDh booked a vacation for our family to see his family. Our kids are really close to my family, as this is important to me and my family, so we make big efforts to see each other and talk often. On the other hand, it is very rare that we see or communicate with his side of the family. I tried to keep in touch at first, but was then forbidden to contact anyone in his family, and thus I only reach out to wish them well on holidays, etc. We have been on vacation about a week. We had 3 days planned with his family. The first day was great, we all laughed and enjoyed each others company. The next day of our trip we went to an amusement park. All was great until we were about to leave when I noticed my h switch. We literally were talking about future plans not even 24 hours before and he refused to say if he would attend a holiday event for the kids. The switch was most likely because he had a 3rd interview that evening and I know has been down on himself that it has been 4 months and he still doesn’t have a job. Well the splitting has continued the whole rest of the vacation. I can act normal as there are kids and his family around but he is crazy!  Today is our last day here. We all are up, I get dressed thinking that we will most likely go to his sisters for a bit so I should get ready then watch the kids so he can get ready. I do so…he watches tv…I make the kids food…he watches tv, I get the little kids ready to go in the pool…he watches tv then comes outside but won’t talk to me. I tell him that I can watch the kids so he can get ready…he stares at his phone. I get the kids out of the pool and into the shower…he is still staring at his phone…it’s 1pm at this point. I then ask the kids if they want to play Simon says, trying to entertain these kids who are watching their iPads…we are on vacation they can do that at home!  But the car is on his name so I know that there is no way he would let me take it in the mood he is in. He finally gets up and says that he is going to get to his sisters house for a bit, then to take his mom shopping and then to a nice dinner with the whole family if we would like to join we were welcome. I had told the kids I would get them ice cream so said that we would love to go as long as we could get ice cream at some point along the way. At about 2:15 he comes out and says we are leaving in 5 minutes, then asks me to let my son know, to which I responded that I had already told him to come down soon as I had hoped we would be leaving soon. My h comes out of the room 1 min later…at the most…and says where is he, we are leaving. My son is walking down the stairs Andy h screams at him to hurry up. I say we all waited on you for hours today and it’s been less than a minute, calm down. He then starts in on me…your such a slut, I have all of the proof, your this, your that…I said I just wish that your mom knew how you treated me and I walked away. As I did so he said tell her. All but my h went out to the car…it took him another couple of minutes to organize himself. We drive 30 minutes to an ice cream place, the whole ride he is randomly laughing. I stare out the window and the kids are silent. I buy the kids ice cream. As we are walking over to the ice cream place he starts saying yeah aw yeah…loud to the point that others are staring at him. He then gets a phone call and walks away and when he gets back tells my 4d that she needs a babysitter now…I am
Assuming that that means that he got the job. We then drive another 30 minutes to his sisters house…silent car except him dancing, singing and randomly laughing. We get to his sisters house. All but the 4d gets  out to the car. She is afraid of places that she doesn’t know. So I was trying to talk her into going in the house. She kept refusing saying that she didn’t know we were staying here and then my 6s joined in. My h came over and took her out of the car so I walked in the house with my 6s, said hi to his mom and sat down with the other kids. My h storms in and says my 4d will not come in so we are leaving…if he had let me talk to her I probably could have made her comfortable enough to do so but he had everyone on edge from his earlier antics. The kids go to the car and I asked to use the bathroom but someone was in it but said they would be right out. So I stood there making small talk with his mom. He storms in the house and says let’s go, stop telling her beep. I said I have to go to the bathroom. His sister then walks in and says everyone looks so tired, I said it’s been kind of a long day to which she responds I bet…I am going to pray for him that’s all I can do is pray for him…and slams the front door on his face. I am still waiting to go to the bathroom. Just standing there next to his mom, not talking. He storms in come on, finally I say they I will just hold it and head out to the car. He then interrogates his mom…what was she saying to you, what did you guys talk about…that I had to go to the bathroom!  He storms off yelling at his mom, she called his name and he continued. He cancelled all of our plans for the night. When we got home he pulled his 13d out side and I’m sure told her that she is not to speak to me, etc. it’s almost midnight and he is probably on movie 3 of the night…with a couple of stops for playing tag with the little kids, packing his suitcase while I packed all of the kids and warming up pizza for the little kids. Oh and my d4 threw up after we got home…he did try to attend to her though she wanted to be with me. He then wondered why I took the kids to sleep in a differently be…um because the bed smells like puke…I am not really looking for anything here…just venting and documenting yet another out burst…that ultimately hurts the kids and his side of the family more than his “intended” target of me if he was really so mad at me!

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[Anonymous22]

The saga continues...we get up the next morning and my h is ignoring me and my kids as usual at this phase of his cycle and he starts in to a type of manic phase...chasing the little kids around, talking to himself, randomly laughing or making strange sounds and is actually helping to clean up the house before we have to check out.  I get myself and the two little kids ready, then start organizing the rest of the house, while the other kids are getting ready.  We pack up the car and head to the airport.  The kids and I interact some, but for the most part the car is silent, except for my h's music.  Music is a big thing for him.  He almost always listens to rap or reggae, with the occasional classical if he is trying to get one of the kids to sleep in the car.  About 10 minutes into our drive, he switches the music to music that is all about love and I can't live without you and I am better with you as my woman, etc.  NEVER have I heard him listen to this type of music.  We get closer to the rental car return and it looks to me like he forgot that he needs to fill the car up with gas, so I ask him if he is going to get off at the next exit as that is the last one before he gets to the rental place, to which he asks for a "high 5" for me reminding him (um ok).  He then tells the kids that he will get each of the kids a snack at the gas station if they want something for the plane.  He is happy as can be.  We return the car, all is good.  The second we walk into the airport he switches back to his not nice mode and is angry at anyone and everyone, especially that I was the lucky one who got chosen to be randomly searched...you know as this was totally in my control!  We get down to the gate, he suggests that he and I go get food for on the plane...didn't we just do this.  So the kids stay and he and I go get food for the kids, but he refuses to even walk anywhere near me.  Ok, whatever, I'm not going to make a scene.  It takes awhile for our food.  On the way back, I ask him, as he was at least 10 steps behind me when our plane boards...to which he said a time that was about 45 minutes from then.  We get to the kids who are starving and want their food, but my h decides to check to see when the plane boards since se were not sitting close.  They had already boarded and were just closing the door...what...I thought we had 45 minutes!  So my h is yelling at us to move fast.  I take care of the kids on the plane as every comment out of his mouth to anyone was rude on the plane.  The plane lands and all of a sudden he strikes up a conversation with several of the people sitting near him and adds me to the conversation...um ok.  We get to the car, all is fine.  We get home and he goes directly to his office and onto his computer.  I unpack all of the suitcases and put everything away.  He comes out of his office and asks me if I am working the next day (today) as I need to figure out something for my d10 to do as he is taking our little kids out and MY kids are not invited, and he refuses to tell me where they are going, saying that I never tell him when I take the kids somewhere, which is a lie as I almost always text you, its not my fault that you don't reply.  I say that I don't understand why he is doing this, separating the kids as that is not ok with me, but chose not to get into it...my s6 starts in that he wishes that I never had to leave to go to work, etc...that he wants me to be at home with him.  I think he over heard my daughter tell me that she and my mom have plans today and knew that our little kids would be upset so had to turn this on me and her...but in actuality has nothing planned.  My h puts his clothes away and comes back downstairs in another "manic" type  mode, playing with my d4, trying to include my d10 whom he just left out less than an hour ago.  My d4 then remembers that we didn't get the ice cream that he promised her on the way home, and starts a temper tantrum.  He agrees to order door dash for ice cream for her and asks all 4 kids (including my s13) what they want.  He then starts in on how cool my d10 and s13 are to my d4 as they eat their ice cream together.  The next morning has arrived...my h slept 4 hours...getting up at 2 am, which is par for the course for him when splitting, but I'm not sure someone should be solely responsible for young kids when only getting 4 hours of sleep...??  My s6 woke up before I left and asked that I made sure to "say bye" to him before I left as he will miss me.  My d4 started in crying and wanted to lay by herself but I encouraged her to lay with my h to calm down, my h did cuddle her, but is back to completely ignoring me.  Sorry that was so long!  My question here is that it seems like in the last 24 hours he has gone through his usual cycle, that usually takes about a week to go through, twice.  Is it normal for this to happen?  Also, I am on my computer at work, and need to figure out how to merge my accounts, but this is dtkm, I had lost my password so created a different account awhile back.  Thanks!