First post

[WrongSaidFred]

Hey all, just had another huge blowout with my bpd wife. She is miserable but thinks it’s all my fault and won’t participate in trying to solve it. The problem is always that we live in squalor, I’m always mean to her, I’m too thin-skinned, and I don’t want to spend any time with her. She will accept no responsibility, will not expend any additional energy, will not speak to professional help. She says she wishes she were dead.

I know I’m very imperfect but I also know that her view is skewed.

    WSF

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Pook075]

Hey all, just had another huge blowout with my bpd wife. She is miserable but thinks it’s all my fault and won’t participate in trying to solve it. The problem is always that we live in squalor, I’m always mean to her, I’m too thin-skinned, and I don’t want to spend any time with her. She will accept no responsibility, will not expend any additional energy, will not speak to professional help. She says she wishes she were dead.

I know I’m very imperfect but I also know that her view is skewed.

    WSF

Hello and welcome to the family!  I'm so sorry we're meeting under these circumstances.  I can relate to how you're feeling right now and it's definitely not fun.

How long have you been married?  And how long into the marriage did the conflicts begin?  Help us get a better idea of what you're dealing with.

[WrongSaidFred]

Thank you for the response.

We've only been married for a few years, but we've been living together for probably close to twenty. My wife is autistic (as am I to an extent) so recognizing the causes have been like peeling layers from an onion.

The conflicts have been there since early days, but have been escalating as she gets older and she sees her future options running out.

She's extremely sweet and generous, but when something goes wrong, it's always my fault. If I say something that she misinterprets, it's my fault for not being more clear; if she misinterprets something I say, it's my fault for not asking for clarification.

   WSF