Spouse with BPD and Bipolar Disorder

[Kgdatsme]

Hi all,

Anyone have any experience with a partner that has both BPD and bipolar disorder? My wife is currently in recovery from a 6 week long manic episode and wants a divorce. She was in the hospital for 12 days and just started outpatient treatment two days ago, but had 2 prior hospitalizations that were less than a week each during these 6 weeks. It seems all her toxic BPD traits are intensified. Namely splitting and spreading lies about me to anyone with ears.

Is this common? Does a manic episode prolong the typical cycle of devaluation that only lasts a few hours to a day she might normally have?

Last year, she also had a manic episode but was only a week long. She did the same thing, spread lies about me and didn’t want anything to do with me. After a week in the hospital she welcomed me back into her heart and slowly she was able to apologize and take accountability. But it was a long and taxing two months.

This time however, she wants a divorce and just wants to be friends, but still wears her wedding ring the entire time out of the hospital.

Any and all thoughts are appreciated!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hello kgdatsme  and welcome to the boards!

Wow, you've really been through the wringer lately. Things must have been pretty bad for your W to end up hospitalized... I'm so sorry it got so intense.

I have heard of at least one former member here whose wife had BPD and BP. She also had multiple hospitalizations and those were not her "rock bottom" of "seeing the light"; from what I recall she continued to struggle with blaming him inappropriately, though medication for BP and depression did help her somewhat.

Does your W accept any of her diagnosed?

Has she ever done inpatient or outpatient before? How long is this current outpatient supposed to last, and is it focused on BPD or BP specifically?

Do you two have any kids?

And do you have any support for yourself right now (therapist, counselor, family member group attached to the IOP...)?

This sounds like a stressful time, so please do post and share here when you need to... we'll be here

kells76