AndaPanda
Fewer than 3 Posts
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1
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« on: February 19, 2017, 08:57:54 AM » |
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Hello, everyone. I need some advice:
So, I recently started a relationship with someone who has BPD. I met him online and immediately felt a connection. I noticed something was different when he started saying how much he cared/loved me after only knowing me for a short amount of time. This is my first relationship and what a doozy it has been! The thing is, I truly love him. I've opened up to him about things that have happened to myself that I have never told anyone else; I trust him. He's confided in me with everything and anything that's happened in his life, as well. He's actually a pretty open individual. We relate on a humor and intellectual level. One of the first things I did was send him a think-piece that I wrote about myself and his response was one of which he cried and told me that "he has never met someone who could relate to him more and that he loves me more than he has loved anyone else!" That last part through me for a loop since we were only talking for about a week at this point, but as I mention later on, I now know why he said it.
Anyway, a couple weeks into our relationship, I get a text that says: "Ever have one of those days when you're doing great, then all of a sudden you feel like you've crashed into oblivion? I'm having one of those days. Out of nowhere, I just crashed into my depression." That day we were supposed to get together and that day I found out about his BPD. He told me that isolation helps. Now, I don't know if it was wrong of me, but I still texted him funny pictures, I texted him that I love him, and just things to keep his mind off of his emotional distress. It actually seemed to work pretty well! However, I am not a professional so I don't know if it helped OR he just relapsed into a more positive emotional state.
Fast forward to this past Friday on 2/17/17. I get on Facebook and see a post by him that basically says he's, "deleting facebook and going radio silent until an undetermined amount of time". One of the things he also points out is that, "it may shock a few people", I being one of them. I felt so hurt, but then I remembered why he did it. It was "strange" and "random" because the day before, we talked on the phone for an hour and everything went well and then we texted until around midnight that evening. I knew he was having one of his "outbursts" when I had texted him that I hope he had a good day and that I love him, which I received no reply from. He usually says, "I love you, too". I send a few more texts periodically until I eventually went on Facebook and saw his post. Now, this is where I need advice: After seeing his post, I immediately texted him saying, "So I'm guessing that post also includes me? If so, that's fine and I respect your decision. I love you." Was that wrong of me to do? All be it, I texted that impulsively, but I made sure to emphasize that I love him. Since then, I texted him yesterday, "I don't expect you to reply, but I just wanted to say good morning and that I love you with all of my heart." Is that okay? And naturally, I didn't get a response. Then last night, I texted him, "Goodnight, Sweetheart. I love you." Again, no response. This morning around midnight, I couldn't sleep so decided to send him funny pictures to see if it received a response: Nothing. Then at around 2 this morning, I felt compelled to tell him, "I just wanted to let you know that I won't abandon you and that I love you. I'll be there for you no matter what. You're worth it, Blue Jay." (Blue Jay is his nickname). I guess my biggest questions are: Is what I'm doing okay? Or should I give him space? Should I stop texting him? Or should I continue sending messages telling him that I won't leave him and that I love him? I, again, am not a professional, but could the normalcy in me sending messages as if nothing has happened, help? Also, how long do these silences last?
Anyway, I would really appreciate all of the help I can get!
Thank you all so much!
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