Hello All

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello, so im not really sure how to decribe the situation i have put myself in over the last 2 years, I started hooking up with this girl who was close with my ex girlfriend, she has had a relationship of 13 years at the same time i was with her. so she was diagnoised with BPD a couple years ago and didnt truly believe it until 1 year ago after a few things she did, but i basically just need some information or guidance, my general question is was her feelings for me false and came from BPD since she never left her boyfriend and thats were her true love feelings were, and was i just BPD, i have done everything to be with this girl even if she messed up i would fight for her to get help, and as of a few weeks ago after telling me how she wants to get help and she really loves me she says she doesnt want to be with me, we arent going to last but we have never had a real relationship by ourselves to truly know. any input would be great thank you very much

[bniwelt]

Hello, so im not really sure how to decribe the situation i have put myself in over the last 2 years, I started hooking up with this girl who was close with my ex girlfriend, she has had a relationship of 13 years at the same time i was with her. so she was diagnoised with BPD a couple years ago and didnt truly believe it until 1 year ago after a few things she did, but i basically just need some information or guidance, my general question is was her feelings for me false and came from BPD since she never left her boyfriend and thats were her true love feelings were, and was i just BPD, i have done everything to be with this girl even if she messed up i would fight for her to get help, and as of a few weeks ago after telling me how she wants to get help and she really loves me she says she doesnt want to be with me, we arent going to last but we have never had a real relationship by ourselves to truly know. any input would be great thank you very much

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi bniwelt,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'll answer with I understand your post, if I have something wrong please feel free to correct me. We don't have to assign a pathology to everything, she has a serious mental illness, the mental illness doesn't define her as a person, BPD is not an adjective.

That being said, we can't read someone else's mind, I don't know how she feels. My guess is that there's tension in the main r/s, think of a pressure cooker she's seeking a seconds r/s to release pressure in the main r/s, think of a release valve. Have you given thought about what if she goes back to the main r/s? What do you then?

Karpman Drama Triangle