My on and off girlfriend is BPD and can not show empathy for her actions

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

We have been on and off for six years.  My kids hate her, my parents despise her.  I lost all my friends... .  I am beat down and I keep going back.  How do I stay away?  I gained 50 lbs since and my self esteem is rock bottom.

She is malicious and cant say that she is sorry for hurting me.  I want to get back by letting her work know about some of the things she brags about getting away with.  Is it wrong to stoop to her level?

[Freysh1]

We have been on and off for six years.  My kids hate her, my parents despise her.  I lost all my friends... .  I am beat down and I keep going back.  How do I stay away?  I gained 50 lbs since and my self esteem is rock bottom.

She is malicious and cant say that she is sorry for hurting me.  I want to get back by letting her work know about some of the things she brags about getting away with.  Is it wrong to stoop to her level?

[schwing]

Hi Freysh1 and

You do not face her by undermining her.
You must face her by first standing up for yourself.

Your kids hate her.  Your parents hate her.  Your friends (probably) hated her.  But none of them were able to support you in a way that helps you stand up to her. 

Before you can stand up for yourself, you must first stand. I'd suggest getting help for yourself first.  Have you considered getting professional help (i.e. therapy)?

Best wishes

Schwing

[FallenOne]

You must face her by first standing up for yourself.

This is what I did... I didn't let her push me around and rage at me... I raged right back at her. I yelled back. I fought back... It didn't make one bit of difference. All that did was escalate her anger and escalate arguments into breakups. Then she called me the abusive one...

Closer to the end, I tried reasoning, agreeing to disagree, and sometimes didn't react at all... That didn't work either.

Nothing works.

EVEN WHEN THEY ARE BEING TREATED!

Mine was heavily medicated and diagnosed in her late teens... It DOES NOT help.

[Mutt]

Hi Freysh1, 



I'd like to join the others and welcome you to bpdfamily. Anger helps with detaching from unhealthy r/s's, just be mindful of not getting stuck there, i'd suggest to share your anger, feelings and thoughts here with us with people that have walked a mile in your shoes. A pwBPD will not validate your feelings. You're not alone.