love my wife

[streif]

First time on site
Think my spouse has BPD but who knows how objective I'm being... .obviously too close to judge for myself
Confused, hurt, isolated... .all the things we are supposed to avoid

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[isilme]

The great thing about this site is that A) it doesn't matter if there is an actual diagnosis of BPD, or if your loved one is just somewhere on the spectrum that includes BPD.  If there are BPD-like behaviors, you can benefit from being here.  B) I find it really helps to type things out.  I can see what I am thinking, what I have done, and how they relate much better when it's in writing.  Journaling no longer feels safe for me due to the actions of my parents, but this feels okay.  I'd never let H know I come here about him, that would trigger a huge blow up, and I usually post while away from him, at work.  But it helps to talk it out, and people here won't simply dismiss your concerns as someone who's never encountered anything like BPD might.

So lurk, read, and post away. 

[Mutt]

Hi streif, 



I'd like to join islime and welcome you to bpdfamily. I'd like to add to what you said about being too close to the situation, if she has BPD, a pwBPD will often say things that are not balanced, for example all good things or all bad things and not at the same time, it helps to get realistic feedback about you, so it's not distorted.

I'd like to add to what islime said about not being dismissed here for your thoughts, this place is a place where you can share your thoughts and feelings without being judged. I loved that when I got here because I didn't have very supportive people in my life, I mean some of them meant well but they don't realize how invalidating that they can be. You're not alone.