Struggling to find balance and protect the kids

[Piscine Molitor]

Hi there forum

Reading through all the symptoms, it's pretty clear my wife has BPD. The behaviour patterns are very similar to the ones described in many of the posts here.

The obsession about problems, then there's the yelling and manipulating the kids, yelling and even domestic violence all patterns that I have to put up with. I am also not dealing with it properly - ranging from pointing out that there's no logical reason in me abandoning her to also fighting back through the use of raised voice to even feeling awful and breaking down in front of her.

I am most concerned about the impact of all this on the kids. They're 2 adorable young boys of 6 and 4 and I often wonder what they're learning and picking up from all this. The atmosphere can range from extremely loving to extremely disturbing at home.

To begin with, I love her and want to help her. But it's also exhausting fighting and arguing and defending. I really need help please!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Loca]

Hi Pi... .Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Same here about my r'ship with hubby and often wonder how my gorgeous and amazing 4yr old son will come out of this?

[UserZer0]

I have the same worries with my 10 and 12 year old kids.  It took me way too long to figure out that my wifes behavior over the years is probably linked to BPD.
One thing I did recently with my 10yo was to read An Umbrella for Alex with her. I was shocked at the anger and frustration to the questions in the book.
At about $3 on Amazon it might be worth reading with your kids (electronic version).