Feeling so confused

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm hoping for some advice, I believe my exbf may be suffering with BPD, when we first got together he was attending therapy twice a week, but I believed it was to do with his awful childhood. I grew up with him from the age of 10 and he always had a thing for me as kids, we briefly got together when I was 16 but he wasn't very nice and made an awful comment of "if I didn't leave him alone he would have battery acid thrown in my face"! After that we had no contact for 16 years, last year he randomly messages me apologising for his awful behaviour we met back up and all the love feelings came straight back. It was all so intense and I felt I was back with my soul mate, I moved in with him very quickly (his request) slowly but surely he began picking out faults in my character, in the 16 years of being away from him I had been in two serious abusive relationships, which have left me a little insecure. He made comments that I acted immaturely at times and just general putdowns, however I felt I couldn't disagree, I often felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. Anyways Valentine's Day I innocently made the comment of "I was just hoping to have the loving affectionate side of u back for one day" and he completely flipped! Bringing up stuff I had supposedly done wrong from months ago, which he had never made a big deal of at the time, his words were "when u think u can attack me I have things I have saved to attack u with" I was so taken aback by his rage! I was shell shocked! Anyways that night I fell asleep and must have been snoring

[Gnr]

I'm hoping for some advice, I believe my exbf may be suffering with BPD, when we first got together he was attending therapy twice a week, but I believed it was to do with his awful childhood. I grew up with him from the age of 10 and he always had a thing for me as kids, we briefly got together when I was 16 but he wasn't very nice and made an awful comment of "if I didn't leave him alone he would have battery acid thrown in my face"! After that we had no contact for 16 years, last year he randomly messages me apologising for his awful behaviour we met back up and all the love feelings came straight back. It was all so intense and I felt I was back with my soul mate, I moved in with him very quickly (his request) slowly but surely he began picking out faults in my character, in the 16 years of being away from him I had been in two serious abusive relationships, which have left me a little insecure. He made comments that I acted immaturely at times and just general putdowns, however I felt I couldn't disagree, I often felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. Anyways Valentine's Day I innocently made the comment of "I was just hoping to have the loving affectionate side of u back for one day" and he completely flipped! Bringing up stuff I had supposedly done wrong from months ago, which he had never made a big deal of at the time, his words were "when u think u can attack me I have things I have saved to attack u with" I was so taken aback by his rage! I was shell shocked! Anyways that night I fell asleep and must have been snoring

[Mutt]

Hi Gnr, 



I'd like to welcome you to the group. A pwBPD will blame others and the world for their problems. It sounds like good news bad news, it sounds like he was serious about going to therapy if he was going a couple of times a week. It's like anything else, sometimes you have to try to quit smoking, drinking, getting help for yourself more than once for it to stick, change can be very scary for some people. That being sad, are you still living together? How have you been together for? How long have you split up?

[heartandwhole]

Hi Gnr,

I'd like to join Mutt in welcoming you to the community. I'm sorry to hear that your relationship has been struggling. It looks like part of your post got cut off.

When you can, tell us the rest of the story. You've found a great place for support. We're here for you. 

heartandwhole