Insane

[loyalwife]

    Today was a scene from a horror movie. My HBPD, texts me and asks me if I want a coffee and will be over to move things from the house. He arrives with a helper and an investigator. he proceeds to corner me and tell me that I have wrecked his life, okay, he tried to hit me, I called the police and it's all my fault. It is so thick in the house with resentment that we are following each other around like children. He accuses me of taking things and then turns around and steal something of mine. Tonight he turned off my cell phone. He has controlled me to the point that I haven't a bank account and everything in our marriage was under his name.  The deal breaker was that I called the police, now the war is on. He told his ex wife (he has five ex wives) that he felt that I was going to hurt him and he feared for his life. He told her I had a gun and he was getting one for protection. Huge lie.  So without financial help, he knows I am sunk. I need to get to an attorney asap, change the locks, get a phone and figure out the next move. The attorney I spoke to said that he was used to these types of guys and their ammo. I talked to a neighbor and she said that he was insane and that she knew his ex who left him because she was afraid for her life. So, I'm just one of many he has used, abused and ditched. This same person thought that the best place to start was with hospitalization. I had spoke to our marriage counselor and she said that she would see us both if I could get him into a session. I've asked for an intervention of sorts. This is critical not only for his welfare but for anyone who he may come into contact with.
     Here I am tonight, scared to death and not sure what to believe anymore. I've been fed so many lies by this man that I can't deal with reality anymore. When it was good it was very very good, but when it was bad it was horrid.

    Looking forward to putting this all behind me.

 

[TNDad]

I don't know if this will help but I am in a similar situation or rather trying to avoid it this time. I've been recycled while still married for 9 years. She is 28 and I'm her 2nd marriage and she is already engaged and we are still married.

I believed the lies at first because they were so unreal and so big that I believed that she had to be telling the truth. It wasn't long after I got home from Iraq that I dealt with the frequency of her lies and how involved they got.

She is so good that she has had 3 therapists fooled until she did something where they could say "yep, that's what she has" meaning BPD. Still though not officially diagnosed. She even had two of those therapists tell me that they were not qualified to deal with her and she needed to go to a specialist.

Marriage counseling is fantastic and I would recommend it for everyone but as for my experience it can be a normal session but also a train wreck with someone with BPD. She needs her own specialist. I need a therapist to help me cope and then marriage counseling could work.

When she left the first time, she filed a restraining order, which was thrown out, because she didn't want her then bf to know the truth. The next time I had a restraining order and the women's abuse advocacy group got involved. She completely bashed my character in court to where I first found out the lengths she would go to get authorities to believe her claims.

Thank goodness the police dept knew about her lying to them previously so they took everything with 5 lbs of salt.

I say all that to say right now, protect yourself. Get things in place to legally protect yourself, and when he is done, let him go.

I am struggling with the same issues and I know it's much easier said than done but they have to want to get better. My wife of 9 years is treating me like I am the one that is doing all these things.

It's so hurtful I want to cry every day but it's also my fault for forgiving.