Can I be angry and sad before I try to empathize?

[Breathe066]

I'm actually afraid my estranged BPD spouse will see what I wrote and figure out that it's me so I keep taking it down.  How public or private are these posts?

[Sadly]

Very private. Your post doesn't align with its title? You are safe to talk here and ask for help

[schwing]

I would suggest that you make certain that your browser history does not include your visits to this website.  Also memorize your login information (as opposed to saving it on your computer) and take care that you do not have a keylogger (spyware) installed on your computer (by your BPD loved one).

[Idsrvt2]

I was just wondering the same... as mine loves to google everything

I'm actually afraid my estranged BPD spouse will see what I wrote and figure out that it's me so I keep taking it down.  How public or private are these posts?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Several browsers have an "incognito" option.  When you open an incognito window, it doesn't save history or cookies.  Once you close the window, no one knows where you were.

[schwing]

Even if your BPD loved one "googles" everything, as long as you don't leave obvious trails, such as using the same screen name or referring uniquely specific details, they should not be able to find or associate whatever they find to you.

Have you tried "googling" your BPD loved one?  How much do you find if anything?

[Aesir]

As of right now I'm all three. I'm sad that I ended it and I still have feelings for her. I'm angry at her and at myself for taking the abuse. I empathize with her because she is burdened with a problem that she refuses to get help for.

[earlyL]

As of right now I'm all three. I'm sad that I ended it and I still have feelings for her. I'm angry at her and at myself for taking the abuse. I empathize with her because she is burdened with a problem that she refuses to get help for.

This is exactly how I feel. The turmoil with these thoughts I find so painful. I have to find a way to understand this is normal and slowly these feelings will go. I have such a desire to just accept one of these (right now it could be any) so that I can just be in peace and move on but I know it is not that simple.

[Infern0]

Paranoia is a common symptom when you first wash up on this site after one of these relationships.

As long as you don't use name or exact details you will be fine.

Mostof them are far too distracted with other stuff to go trawling forums for posts that might be about them.