Maybe Parent w/BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

So this is my introductory post I guess? My therapist recommended I try to connect with people who are in a similar situation I am. For a long time I never thought about my mom potentially having a personality disorder. I just thought she was an alcoholic who got very unpleasant when she started drinking. This year, my junior year of college, I realized I needed somebody to talk to. After a few sessions wth my therapist, she hinted that it sounded like my mom has BPD and uses alcohol as her way to cope with reality. After reading the charactistics of the disorder, I realized it fit my mom perfectly. I've been struggling so much with the complicated relationship we have. My parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad became the stable parent. He was basically my savior and the person I always wanted to be with. One day when I was around 11, I mustered up the courage to break down in front of dad and admit I couldn't live with mom anymore. Mom took this opportunity to spout lies about my dad and blatantly ignore me for over a month when I was with her. She gave me the ultimate cold shoulder and refused to acknowledge my existence. Long story short, we moved past that (though her interpretation of what actually happened is far from reality) and custody stayed 50/50 with them growing up. Because of what's happened, I just can't stand up to her about anything. I totally realize she steam rolls over me, but I feel powerless to say anything. But I feel that understanding  she has a disorder she can't help is helping me to deal with our relationship. Of course I love her. And she's so fun and so not fun at the same time. But I'd like to not feel alone. I always have, and just don't know anyone who understand my position. All my friends have always just said, "Well why don't you just do something about it?" But they don't understand that I can't.

[ProudVeggie]

So this is my introductory post I guess? My therapist recommended I try to connect with people who are in a similar situation I am. For a long time I never thought about my mom potentially having a personality disorder. I just thought she was an alcoholic who got very unpleasant when she started drinking. This year, my junior year of college, I realized I needed somebody to talk to. After a few sessions wth my therapist, she hinted that it sounded like my mom has BPD and uses alcohol as her way to cope with reality. After reading the charactistics of the disorder, I realized it fit my mom perfectly. I've been struggling so much with the complicated relationship we have. My parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad became the stable parent. He was basically my savior and the person I always wanted to be with. One day when I was around 11, I mustered up the courage to break down in front of dad and admit I couldn't live with mom anymore. Mom took this opportunity to spout lies about my dad and blatantly ignore me for over a month when I was with her. She gave me the ultimate cold shoulder and refused to acknowledge my existence. Long story short, we moved past that (though her interpretation of what actually happened is far from reality) and custody stayed 50/50 with them growing up. Because of what's happened, I just can't stand up to her about anything. I totally realize she steam rolls over me, but I feel powerless to say anything. But I feel that understanding  she has a disorder she can't help is helping me to deal with our relationship. Of course I love her. And she's so fun and so not fun at the same time. But I'd like to not feel alone. I always have, and just don't know anyone who understand my position. All my friends have always just said, "Well why don't you just do something about it?" But they don't understand that I can't.

[Turkish]

Experiencing "fun mom" and "not so fun mom" is confusing.  It can result in anxiety not knowing which parent to expect.  This is what outsiders can't understand. 

In what ways does she steamroll over you?