My friend is dumped in worst way and manipulated with threats of suicide

[Depression = 72% of members]

My friend was just thrown out after 13 years by her boyfriend so he could sleep with a woman who was present . While she was at my place at a point where she should be given positive support and a chance to assimilate what she s going through their room mate starts sending her txt msgs all night telling her how terrible things are and threatening self injury and suicide after a night of this coming at her. Her sister takes back the phone and is deleting the msgs all day until finally this guy sends one saying that he's fine and wants to meet in person and talk he then says it was all untrue and that he wants her and that's why he was saying the things he was . Now they've been friends a long time and she's relieved that he's not dead so he gets in her pants even though she should  have been furious.i don't get it he's always been doing things to upset whenever she has a good time visiting some one else . He is very last throws outrageous tantrums over the most chicken things . Anyway when I approached her and told her what he was doing she isn't able to see I. my question is why? Is it that she's using him to feel better over the bad break up And is she in danger when she tries to move on and dumps him will he with his lack of self control and suicidal inclinations be dangerous. Do you think he might hurt her?

[angry observer]

My friend was just thrown out after 13 years by her boyfriend so he could sleep with a woman who was present . While she was at my place at a point where she should be given positive support and a chance to assimilate what she s going through their room mate starts sending her txt msgs all night telling her how terrible things are and threatening self injury and suicide after a night of this coming at her. Her sister takes back the phone and is deleting the msgs all day until finally this guy sends one saying that he's fine and wants to meet in person and talk he then says it was all untrue and that he wants her and that's why he was saying the things he was . Now they've been friends a long time and she's relieved that he's not dead so he gets in her pants even though she should  have been furious.i don't get it he's always been doing things to upset whenever she has a good time visiting some one else . He is very last throws outrageous tantrums over the most chicken things . Anyway when I approached her and told her what he was doing she isn't able to see I. my question is why? Is it that she's using him to feel better over the bad break up And is she in danger when she tries to move on and dumps him will he with his lack of self control and suicidal inclinations be dangerous. Do you think he might hurt her?

[Mutt]

Hi angry observer, 



She's had a very long term r/s with her bf, maybe they're having problems in the r/s, being thrown out for someone else brings things out in the open for others to see, she might feel embarrassed about what happened. A r/s is a very personal thing between two people, even if it's a r/s that you don't agree with, it's a good idea for friends and family to stay on the side lines and be supportive and not judge or invalidate friends that are going through this. I'm not suggesting that you're being judgemental or invalidating, I'm just saying that in general terms for anyone that is going through this.

I'd feel angry if a loved one was going through this, you can your feelings about it too, it's also a good idea to have those feelings validated, to answer you question if she might hurt her, that's a tough question because I can't predict the future, you could print the article in my post that helps members if a loved one with BPD threatens suicide and give it to your friend, but it depends on how receptive that she is, it sounds like they're going through a tough time and it can be hard to talk about those things for some people.

Suicide ideation in others