How do you deal with constant crying?

[montenell]

Seems like everyday for the past week my wife has been crying. She's been rehashing old hurts of which of course I'm the blame for. We have talked and she would seem to be fine even told me she felt better but then the next day it starts over again. At this point it's getting on my nerves, I've tried to empathize, apologized for my part in it etc. But at this point I don't want to hear about it, don't really like being in the house with her. What are some good tools for this?

[BeagleGirl]

If you don't want to be in the house with her... .don't be.  I'm pretty sure it sounds simple and feels hard/selfish.  As a woman, I will say that it's probably more hurtful/frustrating to have someone there who doesn't want to be there than to be alone. 

That only addresses what you can do when you feel like you can't take anymore tears.  I imagine you want to know what you can do to stop the tears.  Here are a few ideas.  They should be handled with care, and if there is a trusted female in your wife's life (sister, mother, close friend) that you can ask for help, all the better.

Don't minimize her emotions.  They are what they are.  Focus on the fact that you don't want her to suffer any more/longer than she has to and you are willing to do what you can to help. 

Remove triggers - If there are objects or activities that remind her of what is hurting her, get rid of them.  If there is a certain time of day that the tears usually start, try to change up the routine.

Encourage her to talk to someone other then you about what is causing the hurt.  Maybe she needs encouragement to see a counselor.  Maybe you just need to give her a "night off" to reconnect with someone who she can open up to.  If she want to see a clergy person or marriage counselor, schedule the appointment for her.  Just be careful to do this in a way that reflects a desire on your part to help rather than hand her off to someone else so you don't have to listen to it.

Rule out medical/hormonal issues - "Hormonal" can be a HUGE hot button word when spoken by a man to a woman (because you will NEVER understand, so don't even try), but it is a fact of life that hormones can impact our ability to cope with emotions, and there are medical issues that can lead to hormone imbalances.  This is where a trusted female friend can be invaluable.  Something along the lines of "I know I can be a total jerk and I've done things that have hurt my wife.  I know that it may take her some time to get over those things, but I'm concerned about the level of distress she seems to be in.  I feel like I've done all I can to help her but the tears just don't stop and it's starting to concern me.  I don't want her to feel like I'm minimizing her emotions by blaming them on hormones, but I also don't want to miss a medical condition that might be causing more suffering.  Can you help?"

Hopefully these give you a starting point. 
BeagleGirl