Misogyny and BPD Men

[WitzEndWife]

Is it common for BPD men to hold special resentment against women? I feel as though my H especially disregulates over women. I think it might be due to the anger he still feels about his mom sending him away at age 14.

Today, he holds her up on a pedestal, but he goes on and on about the things MY mom does wrong. And he berates me at times for not reading his mind. And often splits over female servers or service people doing the wrong thing, way more than he does about men.

He also follows certain media figures who repeatedly say horrible things about women, despite my protests about it.

When he's not in one of his rage or splitting modes, he is very loving and kind toward everyone, and has even proclaimed himself a "feminist."

Could his trauma, plus BPD lead to misogynistic tendencies and resentment of women in general?

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[Baf93]

I'm new to this forum and to the knowledge of BPD. However my SO of 5 years has always seemed to look down on women when he went into one of his phases. Both of his parents show signs of BPD and narcissist traits (I've never been close to his parents so I'm unable to make that call) his mother was an alcoholic that left when he was 5, and he spent his life with a father always speaking down about women and not giving him the love a child needs. Him and his brothers were practically raised by babysitters with dad coming home sometimes and mom dropping in just to disappear again. I believe his issues mainly stem from his mother, and his father just adds to that weight. In his idealization phase, im the woman any man would dream of. I'm a wonderful dedicated mother. My mother and grandmother (who love and treat him as their own) are saints. Then when devalue comes into play I'm a lazy piece of ___ mom who doesn't spend enough time with my daughter. Then the women in my family are ___ty and twisted individuals in his eyes. While he does talk bad about other men, he seems to respect them a lot more and would never dare say anything to another mans face. So i guess yeah it's possible for them to. Idk if it's because the source of their hurt is a woman, or another reason. I find a lot of times we're playing this mommy/son role. I think that makes him turn on me and project the feelings he's always had towards his mother.

[AtticWisdom]

It's interesting that you bring this up... .My GF (I'm a guy) has some equal and opposite traits. Even though she prefers the company of men, doesn't usually get along with women and tends to think that they're dramatic (oh the irony), I've increasingly found that she thinks men are just plain inferior. She thinks that we're like children or dogs--completely unable to resist immediate gratification (like sexual urges), a little stupid, unable to raise children as well as even a horrible mother can.

This opinion is gradually snuck out around me... .And only since the idealization wore off. So my best guess is that it's just an accumulated result of the devaluation process. She's devaluated and discarded a series of men, to the point that now it's just "men" in general who are the problem. But she wouldn't let me know that until her opinion of me sunk as well.