Nice to meet you...

[zia]

Hello,

I discovered this site through the book :... .essential guide for families... ." and am hopeful it can be a place of solace for me. 
My husband has been diagnosed with depression/anxiety and "likely" BPD.  From my research he fits most of the criteria.  It's of course awful, affects our relationship, health and family (I worry about the affects on my kids, as I try to shield them as much as possible).  I've been fighting the good fight for so long.  Yes I'm  exasperated but for awhile now I've stopped "playing his games" and have been setting limits (which has it's challenges).  He constantly tries to push them back of course and the mental and emotional wear is more than I could have imagined when I met him.
The good news is at least now I understand what's going on with all this seeming nonsense-that helps keep me from having a breakdown!  But support and understanding (empathy!) would be a welcome addition! :-) 
I wish all of "OZ" well as we journey together

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Five28]

Hello Zia,
I'm relatively new here myself but find a lot of interesting information from other members. Hopefully you can find something that helps you cope, cause being the spouse of a BPD is a huge challenge. I would not wish it on anyone, and if asked, I would recommend NOT getting involved with anyone who has this horrible affliction. A life of constant drama and stress is not my idea of a good time. I wish you the best in your quest for knowledge.

[Mutt]

Hi zia,



I'd like to join Five28 and welcome you to the site, I'm glad that you decided to join us, there is hope.

and am hopeful it can be a place of solace for me.

This is a place for the non's to share and help each other with day to day problems in a r/s with a pwBPD. You touched on empathy, it's hard to understand what a divorce feels like, unless you've experienced it for yourself. It's the same idea with a r/s with a pwBPD, friends & family may have a difficult time to grasp what you mean about your issues, it helps to talk to others just like you.
 

I've been fighting the good fight for so long.  Yes I'm  exasperated but for awhile now I've stopped "playing his games" and have been setting limits (which has it's challenges).  He constantly tries to push them back of course and the mental and emotional wear is more than I could have imagined when I met him.

You're not alone, you probably already know that a pwBPD have little to no boundaries on themselves, it's a concept that they don't really understand. A lot of us had boundaries that weren't consistent, you can call them floating boundaries, or didn't really have boundaries.

Let's turn the periscope the other way around, a pwBPD or anyone really will likely lash out when there's something new introduced that are maintained or more consistent than what we had with them before. This is natural, it will get better but I can relate with how draining it can feel when our owBpD keep flailing against our boundaries.

The good news is at least now I understand what's going on with all this seeming nonsense-that helps keep me from having a breakdown!

It's hard huh-2 It's temporary, it will pass and it helps to talk. You'll find the lessons on the right side of the board   I'm looking forward to reading your posts.