Crazy Story, Need Help - Ran In To My Ex And Her Boyfriend In My Home Town

[inter]

Quick Background: I have been recovering from a terrible BPD breakup for 8 months now. She cheated on me and started seeing the guy before completely discarding and replacing me. I had severe trauma from the experience as she continued to act crazy and emotionally abuse me after the breakup by calling and texting me out of the blue each month for stupid reasons.

We are both from the US and had our relationship there. I am originally Italian and I have a house in a beautiful world renowned beach town which I am very passionate and connected to. I spent my summers growing up there and it is very special place to me. I took her to Italy with me for for the first time for 1 month last summer and it was the best month of our entire relationship. Maybe my life. I showed her everything from beaches to monuments to restaurants. Romantic, passionate and just overall an unbelievable trip together with memories and fun that would last a lifetime. She ended it 3 months later. I have blocked her and been NC for 5 months now. 

Crazy Story -

Fast forward 8 months and I am still devastated and emotionally damaged from the breakup. I come to Italy last week to see my family and to get away from everything. My home in Italy is so special that it makes me happy, I am not stressed and can just relax and enjoy after everything that happened that year. Having been there with her the year prior I obviously was feeling very depressed and I saw her everywhere I looked. It's been very lonely without her.

Yesterday, I decide to go to a different beach that I used to go with her a lot last year that we really loved. I was nervous because I didn't want to stir up any emotions and knew I would feel nostalgic. As soon as I get to the beach I lay out my towel and decide to take a walk along the shore when all of a sudden I hear my name called. I turn around and it's my ex and her Boyfriend she replaced me with on the beach right in front of me.

Yup, my ex who I took to my home town, to meet my family, and had the time of our lives (mind you a very small and random place) half way across the world, and she decides to go back 8 months after our breakup with her new boyfriend around the same time she knew I might be there and take him to the same beaches, same restaurants and basically relive the entire trip with him. I was shocked and devastated.

Stunned I stood there frozen. I didn't say anything and walked away. She chased me down the beach to say she never meant for this to happen. she was traveling with her family as well and claimed they were the ones who wanted to come see the town after all the good things they heard. I don't know what to believe. my emotions were mixed. one second I was feeling overwhelmed, happy to see her and in love all over. The other second I was on a rage. How could she do this to me? How could she take him here? This is my home!

I told her I missed her and hugged her. Then I walked back toward her bf and told him: ___ you. You are not welcome here. ___ off!. She followed me again and asked if I would feel more comfortable if they left. I told her it didn't make a difference. I left.

- I am devastated. How could she do this to me?

- how could she take our time here for granted and want to relive it with someone else less than a year out?

- Why would she come here if she knows I spend my summers here and go to that very beach?

- Is it just genuine and she just loved it so much she wants to show her new bf?

- did she have memories of being happy there and needed to go back to feel that again?

- is it a coincidence? do you think it's the truth that her parents made her go there?

- is she hurting and missing me and hence manipulated a situation where she could potentially bump in to me after I went NC?

I am so hurt and confused I need help!

[hopealways]

Wow I totally understand especially because my BPDx and I had a very similar beach location that I still go to-it reminds me of better times so it makes me happy.  Hang in there I know how hurt you must be!
Here are some answers:

- I am devastated. How could she do this to me?
Because if she has BPD it is a very serious disorder. They do this and worse. She cheated on you, this is nothing compared to that.

- how could she take our time here for granted and want to relive it with someone else less than a year out?
That is part of her disorder: a history of tumultuous relationships. You were one of them, this guys is another, and there will be many more.

- Why would she come here if she knows I spend my summers here and go to that very beach?
Well they have feelings too, it probably makes her happy thinking of those memories but does not mean the two of you can have a normal and harmonious loving relationship.

- Is it just genuine and she just loved it so much she wants to show her new bf?
Who knows and it doesn't matter, don't try to understand and make sense of what they do, just understand the disorder.

- did she have memories of being happy there and needed to go back to feel that again?
Probably.

- is it a coincidence? do you think it's the truth that her parents made her go there?
Probably not.

- is she hurting and missing me and hence manipulated a situation where she could potentially bump in to me after I went NC?
Probably, they do do that, try to create situations so that YOU miss THEM.

[inter]

Quick Background:

I have been recovering from a terrible BPD breakup for 8 months now. She cheated on me and started seeing the guy before completely discarding and replacing me. I had severe trauma from the experience as she continued to act crazy and emotionally abuse me after the breakup by calling and texting me out of the blue each month for stupid reasons.

We are both from the US and had our relationship there. I am originally Italian and I have a house in a beautiful world renowned beach town which I am very passionate and connected to. I spent my summers growing up there and it is very special place to me. I took her to Italy with me for for the first time for 1 month last summer and it was the best month of our entire relationship. Maybe my life. I showed her everything from beaches to monuments to restaurants. Romantic, passionate and just overall an unbelievable trip together with memories and fun that would last a lifetime. She ended it 3 months later. I have blocked her and been NC for 5 months now.  

The Encounter:

Fast forward 8 months and I am still devastated and emotionally damaged from the breakup. I come to my hometown in Italy last week to see my family and to get away from everything. On my third day, I decide to go back to the beach me and her spent a lot of time at the previous summer. I had my best memories with her there. As soon as I get to the beach I lay out my towel and decide to take a walk along the shore when all of a sudden I hear my name called. I turn around and it's my ex and her Boyfriend she replaced me with on the beach right in front of me.

I was shocked. I thought I was seeing things. It was devastating. She had not even heard of this small town half way across the world prior to dating me. We shared some of our best moments together there. She was also here with her entire family but I still took it really personally and some heated words were exchanged between the three of us. Ultimately I had the last say and left the beach in anger and heart break. I believe she had no right to be back at my home town so far away from home in the US. I felt violated and betrayed, and like I meant nothing to her. Although I was devastated she said the moment was poetic. (Give me a break). I need help coping and breaking down the situation. My questions are:

1) Is this a case of her BPD on display, or am I just overreacting? Can you all agree it's messed up?
2)  Why would she come back here?  
3) how could she take our time here for granted and want to relive it with someone else less than a year out? any BPD explanation here?
4) Why would she come here if she knows I spend my summers here and go to that very beach?
5) Is it just genuine and she just loved it so much she wants to show her new bf? Did she have memories of being happy there and needed to go back to feel that again?
6) She claims her parents insisted about going even though she didn't want to. Do I believe this?
7)  is there a chance she hurting and missing me and hence manipulated a situation where she could potentially bump in to me after I went NC?

I am so hurt and confused I need help!

[Emotions]

Your story almost makes me laugh... .I would think I'm hallucinating... .I wouldn't believe it... .the only thing that comes to mind is that she enjoyed the time there with you so much, that she wanted to share that with her family and the other guy... .I would think of it as a compliment almost, although yes she shouldn't actually go there, it seems inappropriate at this point... .