Chaotic relationship

[amusement park]

Undiagnosed, but the symptoms are there.  She has filed for divorce 6 times, dropping 5 of them.  I'm in the middle of the 6th one now.  I have learned a great deal about BPD in the past several months.  I was very wrong in how I approached her anger.  I would try to back away, but gave in to my emotions and fought back.  Very wrong.  I have since learned some techniques on how to defuse the situations.  I will work hard to apply them.  My question, is there any hope of this relationship surviving?  I still love her very much.  When we are good, we are very good.  When it goes bad, it is very bad.  Very black and white.
If I work on these techniques to improve the situation, is there a chance at rescuing this relationship or should I just move on.  I am meeting with a counselor at this time to heal wounds.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Welcome to the board ,

I'm sorry to hear you struggling so much right now. It sounds like your relationship has been through a lot of ups and downs. Trying new things to work on the relationship will always be helpful, even if it's just helpful for you. Sadly though there is no way to determine if changing how you approach things will make everything work out because your partner still has free will to do whatever she is going to do.

Even though you can't control others, you can work on yourself. We have a lot of really great workshops on the right that can help you begin to work on how you approach conflict and communication with your pwBPD. Many people here have found that just beginning to use some of these tools affects the way their partner responds to them. Here's a link to one of our workshops on understanding your role in the relationship:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206.msg913188#msg913188