Spouse with undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[Sensitive soul]

I identify with the posts here a lot.  But the empathetic (probably codependent) side of me is thinking/feeling that my personality-disordered spouse feels anxiety/discomfort (emotional & physical)/loss-of-control when we're on vacation (or during any sort of celebration or out-of-the-ordinary "fun" outing) -- which causes me to feel at least a bit sorry for him (& to wish there were a cure of some sort).

In my case it wouldn't bother me quite so much if he didn't try to control my ability to do "fun" things with our children, although even if it were the case that he just wasn't willing to do them with us it would be lonely (not having a fellow adult along to share the experience with & make memories with).
[I'm new to this site so I don't know if I need to clarify that I think I'm dealing with a spouse with undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, not Borderline Personality Disorder.  Is this site meant for people affected by relationships with both groups of people (despite being called bpdfamily)?]

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Sensitive soul,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I can see how sad it would be when your partner / the children's father doesn't want to participate in activities as a family. Absolutely your welcome to post about NPD. What NPD qualities does he exhibit?

[Tattered Heart]

Blow ups during celebrations and fun events is something that many of us have experienced before. Sometimes it seems like either the change in routine or just not having their partner's full attention causes the dysfunction.

What makes you think your partner has NPD over BPD? Either way though, the way to respond to them and to communicate with them is the same: lots of validation and empathetic language.