Online with him now...

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

What do I say? I got myself into typing instant messaging with him. He wants to get into why I chose not to share an apt with him when he lived in my town. He is in another state now.
I don't want to discuss the details it will just get muddy.Advice?

[anna58]

What do I say? I got myself into typing instant messaging with him. He wants to get into why I chose not to share an apt with him when he lived in my town. He is in another state now.
I don't want to discuss the details it will just get muddy.Advice?

[roberto516]

I have been on both ends of this. In your shoes the conversation led me back to wanting to be with her. From the other side I was hoping by reaching out she'd love me again. Honestly, the best thing for both of you if there's no chance of reconciliation of the relationship is to just let it go and end the communication. Easier said than done. But he will get the message. I did afyer she stopped talking to me and I realized she was done. Maybe tell him in so many words something like that?

[anna58]

Roberto, thank you so much for the compassionate and thoughtful reply. And so prompt... .while I am in the midst of this.

[roberto516]

I know how it feels to just want to hear from someone who's been through a similar experience. You don't ever have to thank me.

[anna58]

Yes, Roberto, that is exactly it.  Well, at this moment, he and I are still instant messaging. It is rapidly going downhill. He accuses me of being cold and distance, which really hurts.

It's true that when he left I didn't indicate it was over. I was afraid he'd never leave, so I kindly supported him in taking this trip back to his hometown. Then told him I didn't want to see him or have him live in my apt complex.  That does sound very cold. It is heartbreaking ,but the only way I knew how to do it. And this is after many many requests, for years, that he leave my apt. instead of mooching and living out of a suitcase in my living room on a mattress on the floor. And he'd be angry at me for asking him to share rent, though he begrudgingly paid. Etc.

Please remind me of your suggestion... .at some point in this conversation with him, I need to just say it is over and I am sorry, but we both need to move on. Right?  Oh that is so damn hard.

[Emotions]

I think you should stand up for what you believe in and what is the best interest for you... .have courage and trust your instincts... .your consciousness is actually wisdom shining through... .if you don't want him to move near you, stand up for that concept with kindness and overstanding... .good luck

[Harley Quinn]

Hi anna,

How did it go and how are you feeling?

Love and light x