I am in shock :(

[Nicolina]

Hello Everyone,

I am struggling with my marriage, for years and until today. I felt like I was crazy, that I was the one causing all the pain in my marriage. I ended up so bad that I decided to go and see a counselor because I wanted to be a good wife. Things have gotten worse for the last couple of months.

We had a physical fight and the verbal abuse has been unreal! As I  am attending to my therapy, my counselor suggested reading a book "walking on eggshells." I am in shock to see that this is real, it is so real and it has been happening to me...

My husband is not right! something is not right. I always used to say! I am so depleted, my self-esteem is so low, I am praying that I will come out of this mess of a marriage and that I can get some pieces of advice and help. I feel fear, I don't want to leave my kid without a Dad and I wanted to stay married. He has a lot but a lot of the traits of a BPD. I am so sad! I can't believe it My husband suffers from BPD!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ukhusband]

I feel your pain and my support goes out to you. I have recently posted my struggle of living with a Borderline wife for 12 years which you may find interesting.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=312922.0

Try and hang in there.

[pearlsw]

Hi Nicolina, I am glad you found something to help validate reality. It can be crazy making to be in a relationship when someone we love treats us so harshly. It makes us question all we thought we knew and believed about love, and absolutely shatter our view of the world.  How nice that you have access to a counselor to help you sort this out. I saw some nice videos on YouTube by a woman named Kati Morton and they can be nice to access on the days you need to hear a sweet, reasonable voice that can explain these issues. Is your husband also seeking any kind of therapy? My partner does not have all, but many of the BPD traits, enough to make life a total rollercoaster. Like UKhusband mentions in his post, keep your own health in mind as well. This can take a real toll physically and mentally. We are here and we understand. Take care!